The indefatigable Marlo Thomas compiled stories of well-known personalities -- artists, authors, celebrities, humanitarians etc. into a tome called The Right Words at the Right Time published in 2002. She calls the writers "and Friends" in the book title, and, I would like to be their friend also after reading their short inspirational stories. Each story written by her friends is clear, direct, moving, poignant and true (it would appear).
I had casually picked this book off the shelf at the Hatboro Library in Hatboro, Pennsylvania, a quaint place on Main Street. I was there early for my noon Memoir Writing Group meeting and I had half an hour to kill. I'm an on-time person. When I go to a meeting I'm either on time or early. I've always been that way and so is my wife Janet. So, here I was. Other times when early at the library, I had skimmed thru books like Stephen Covey's The Eighth Habit, or books on publishing. I was trying to get my ducks in order for pushing my first book Episodes of A Blessed Life in America by June 2013, after all.
These personal stories were fun, interesting and moving, both spiritually and intellectually, and on other levels. It's a book about how these personalities were moved to change their lives and ultimately become who they are today by the influence of another meaningful person in their lives -- a teacher, editor, coach, parent etc. Some of these storytellers were Muhammed Ali, Tom Brokaw, Venus Williams, Al Pacino, Laura Bush and Billy Crystal to name a very few.
I only had time to read some, which I share here:
1. Jeff Bezos' (founder of Amazon) father who told him "You'll learn one day it's much harder to be kind then to be clever." This is my problem -- clothing my words with kindness before speaking directly. Usually my words cut like a knife. Not a good way to make or keep friends.
2. Steven Spielberg who remembers Davy Crockett of TV and movie fame saying "Be sure you're right, then go ahead." Oh how I wished I had killed a million dollar purchase when I had my doubts, instead of being swayed by others. I learned a valuable lesson that year in the aftermath of unnecessarily high prices.
3. Gloria Steinem, who wrote "My inner world is no more important than the outer one, but no less important either." Gloria, I'm glad you got this far in your thinking. Many people don't weigh spirituality in their lives. I weigh it even higher, but that's me. Living it is a different matter -- much harder.
4. Oprah Winfrey, who's General Manager, Dennis, at her first Chicago Talk Show, told her "Just go on the air and be yourself." I think we are always "on the air," and it's so noticeable when we are not our true selves, nor true to ourselves. My bipolar experiences have taught me the reality of not being myself, even though at the time, I really thought and felt I was the Christ.
5. How Carly Simon overcame her severe stuttering after her mother told her gently "Sing it," and she did.
6. How Mel Brooks senior producer John Calley on Blazing Saddles told him "Mel, if you're going to step up to the bell, ring it." To me it's a metaphor for don't overthink it -- 'just do it' as Nike would say.
Bottom line, most of us have someone giving us great advice -- we just have to be listening for it and recognize it.
Like you, I've had many ups and downs, and quite a few sideways experiences. I firmly believe everyone should write theirs and share them, whether just for themselves or their kids. Here are some from my memoirs, observations and thoughts.
Friday, April 19, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
I Love Email, Don't You?
I love emailing and receiving emails. Ever since I started using
email at work in the early eighties, I've loved it. I love the written
word. I trust it. I don't trust verbal words nearly as much, unless
they're from people I trust, like my wife Janet, our kids, family, the Baha'is etc. I don't trust most TV news analysts and pundits, although they're interesting.
I've always been a good reader and speller. When I was twelve or so mom bought a whole set of Britannica Encyclopedias. I rarely used the main set, but over months I read the fourteen Britannica Juniors cover to cover. Very interesting and informative. Now I get my knowledge again from family and friends, but also from NPR and the Baha'i Writings. I rarely read the newspaper, although I like that to and hope they can continue in their physical format (as well as digital). Acquiring knowledge is the most important thing a human can do -- education opens up everything life and the spirit have to offer. And I count religious education as equally important as the sciences. The two wings of a bird kinda thing. Without both wings the bird will never fly.
I use four email addresses on a daily basis now that I'm home and retired. Two for my businesses -- ABLiA Media Co. and RR Energy & IT Consulting, as well as two personal addresses -- all gmail accounts. Gmail is the best I've found at filtering out garbage and spam, and I've been using gmail for four years now. I had used AOL previously and that let horrendous amounts of spam throuh.
I recently discovered how to "select all" my daily emails, then unclick the ones I wanted to investigate or keep, and delete the rest. So much easier than deleting each one individually! All told, between all four accounts, I get 150 emails a day. But going thru them is fun, educational and interesting. To me anyway. And it only takes me fifteen minutes. Emails I respond to take a few moments longer, but not much.
I'm very selective about what I sign up for on email. I am subscribed to about 100 newsletters, reports, news feeds, government sites etc. Most of the emails I get every day for my business, in both IT and energy (like Computerworld, TechRepublic and Network World, plus all the major energy mags and orgs). I also subscribe to a few writing sites, like Writers and Writers Digest, which are excellent articles and blogs. I can scan the subject line and quickly delete those that aren't relative at the moment or potentially in the future. I unsubscribe those I get tired of deleting. My personal emails are very different. I have subscriptions to things like the daily Gallup surveys, Factcheck, Politifact and other informational and political services. I like to stay current in certain areas.
All of my subscriptions are free right now. I know that will end someday, but its great now.
On my main personal email, for example, I have over 100 file categories like "Family," "Baha'i" "Subscriptions," "Receipts" etc. They're very helpful for archiving things I want to keep or refer to.
So I love email, don't you?
I've always been a good reader and speller. When I was twelve or so mom bought a whole set of Britannica Encyclopedias. I rarely used the main set, but over months I read the fourteen Britannica Juniors cover to cover. Very interesting and informative. Now I get my knowledge again from family and friends, but also from NPR and the Baha'i Writings. I rarely read the newspaper, although I like that to and hope they can continue in their physical format (as well as digital). Acquiring knowledge is the most important thing a human can do -- education opens up everything life and the spirit have to offer. And I count religious education as equally important as the sciences. The two wings of a bird kinda thing. Without both wings the bird will never fly.
I use four email addresses on a daily basis now that I'm home and retired. Two for my businesses -- ABLiA Media Co. and RR Energy & IT Consulting, as well as two personal addresses -- all gmail accounts. Gmail is the best I've found at filtering out garbage and spam, and I've been using gmail for four years now. I had used AOL previously and that let horrendous amounts of spam throuh.
I recently discovered how to "select all" my daily emails, then unclick the ones I wanted to investigate or keep, and delete the rest. So much easier than deleting each one individually! All told, between all four accounts, I get 150 emails a day. But going thru them is fun, educational and interesting. To me anyway. And it only takes me fifteen minutes. Emails I respond to take a few moments longer, but not much.
I'm very selective about what I sign up for on email. I am subscribed to about 100 newsletters, reports, news feeds, government sites etc. Most of the emails I get every day for my business, in both IT and energy (like Computerworld, TechRepublic and Network World, plus all the major energy mags and orgs). I also subscribe to a few writing sites, like Writers and Writers Digest, which are excellent articles and blogs. I can scan the subject line and quickly delete those that aren't relative at the moment or potentially in the future. I unsubscribe those I get tired of deleting. My personal emails are very different. I have subscriptions to things like the daily Gallup surveys, Factcheck, Politifact and other informational and political services. I like to stay current in certain areas.
All of my subscriptions are free right now. I know that will end someday, but its great now.
On my main personal email, for example, I have over 100 file categories like "Family," "Baha'i" "Subscriptions," "Receipts" etc. They're very helpful for archiving things I want to keep or refer to.
So I love email, don't you?
I Love Action Movies
I love action movies. I love them so much, that my good friend Richie and I see a new one every Saturday morning at our Hamilton AMC Theatre. Since 2009 when I retired, its become a ritual. A thrilling and exciting ritual. And surprisingly, not that expensive for a number of reasons.
I rarely go see a movie after 12 noon. Even as a senior, the price is $9 -- too expensive for my tastes. Good ones like Lincoln (saw twice), or the King's Speech, I don't mind the cost. But Hangover II? I walked out of that one 20 minutes into it. (At least Hangover III looks better.) There are very few good comedies for men like me. I still remember Rat Race (2001), my favorite, along with The Producers and the Pink Panther flicks with Peter Sellers as inspector Clouseau. All well done and hilarious.
No, action flicks are my bread and butter. I rate them on a scale of 1-5, note the main actors, and a note about the story -- good plot, realistic, predictable etc. My Excel spreadsheet listing them all by date averages 60 movies a year. I love good movies. Examples of my fives are the Lord of the Rings trilogy, all the Harry Potters, the Jason Bourne series with Matt Damon (perfectly cast and acted), and all the Marvel movies (X-Men, Transformers), for example. Lately its also been the G.I. Joe movies. But my real favorites are sci fi movies like Tron Legacy with Olivia Wilde, my honey, I Am Legend with Will Smith (haven't seen a movie with him yet that I didn't like), all the Bond movies since Dr. No, now with Daniel Craig -- perfectly cast and always a nail biter (I stopped that in the eighties thank goodness).
The best part for me is two things: one, before noon the movie only costs six bucks, and two, for about the last year, they've offered coffee at the concession stands! Smithfield or something, not to bad. Not Dunkin, my favorite, but not to bad. I petitioned AMC many times the year before to offer coffee -- and to their credit, they have. Other moviegoers must have done likewise. Yeah, AMC!
My average annual per movie cost has ranged from $3.68 in 2012, to $7.50 in 2005. It's been averaging $6.20-$6.80 most of the time. And I'm including all the ones I see with Janet at $9.00. There's a couple other reasons why its so cheap. First, I get Gift Cards for my birthday and for Ayyam-i-Ha, our Baha'i and family gift giving days equivalent (toned down), to Christmas. So those movies cost me nothing. And I get many gift cards (I don't ask for much). Second, the AMC Rewards Club. For every ten bucks spent at AMC, I get a buck (cash) in rewards, applied when it reaches $100 in spending. And that includes concession costs as well. So, that's why my real cost can be less than six bucks at times, and some actually free.
Going to the movies for me is watching pure fantasy, but always with kernels of truth -- or a future truth. Meditating about why I like them so much has revealed a simple truth about me. They remind me of the 1950's westerns I'd watch on black & white TV. The Lone Ranger, Cisco Kid, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Have Gun Will Travel with Paladin, Maverick, Rifleman and more. Simply put: you clearly know who the bad guy is, and they get their due in the end from the good guy. Simple, clean, good against bad and good always triumphs.
Yeah, I like action flicks (especially the starlets), and AMC coffee. A perfect excursion for a few hours.
I rarely go see a movie after 12 noon. Even as a senior, the price is $9 -- too expensive for my tastes. Good ones like Lincoln (saw twice), or the King's Speech, I don't mind the cost. But Hangover II? I walked out of that one 20 minutes into it. (At least Hangover III looks better.) There are very few good comedies for men like me. I still remember Rat Race (2001), my favorite, along with The Producers and the Pink Panther flicks with Peter Sellers as inspector Clouseau. All well done and hilarious.
No, action flicks are my bread and butter. I rate them on a scale of 1-5, note the main actors, and a note about the story -- good plot, realistic, predictable etc. My Excel spreadsheet listing them all by date averages 60 movies a year. I love good movies. Examples of my fives are the Lord of the Rings trilogy, all the Harry Potters, the Jason Bourne series with Matt Damon (perfectly cast and acted), and all the Marvel movies (X-Men, Transformers), for example. Lately its also been the G.I. Joe movies. But my real favorites are sci fi movies like Tron Legacy with Olivia Wilde, my honey, I Am Legend with Will Smith (haven't seen a movie with him yet that I didn't like), all the Bond movies since Dr. No, now with Daniel Craig -- perfectly cast and always a nail biter (I stopped that in the eighties thank goodness).
The best part for me is two things: one, before noon the movie only costs six bucks, and two, for about the last year, they've offered coffee at the concession stands! Smithfield or something, not to bad. Not Dunkin, my favorite, but not to bad. I petitioned AMC many times the year before to offer coffee -- and to their credit, they have. Other moviegoers must have done likewise. Yeah, AMC!
My average annual per movie cost has ranged from $3.68 in 2012, to $7.50 in 2005. It's been averaging $6.20-$6.80 most of the time. And I'm including all the ones I see with Janet at $9.00. There's a couple other reasons why its so cheap. First, I get Gift Cards for my birthday and for Ayyam-i-Ha, our Baha'i and family gift giving days equivalent (toned down), to Christmas. So those movies cost me nothing. And I get many gift cards (I don't ask for much). Second, the AMC Rewards Club. For every ten bucks spent at AMC, I get a buck (cash) in rewards, applied when it reaches $100 in spending. And that includes concession costs as well. So, that's why my real cost can be less than six bucks at times, and some actually free.
Going to the movies for me is watching pure fantasy, but always with kernels of truth -- or a future truth. Meditating about why I like them so much has revealed a simple truth about me. They remind me of the 1950's westerns I'd watch on black & white TV. The Lone Ranger, Cisco Kid, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry, Have Gun Will Travel with Paladin, Maverick, Rifleman and more. Simply put: you clearly know who the bad guy is, and they get their due in the end from the good guy. Simple, clean, good against bad and good always triumphs.
Yeah, I like action flicks (especially the starlets), and AMC coffee. A perfect excursion for a few hours.
Having Spirituality
When I was a kid growing up in downtown Trenton, of course I went to Catholic school. There was never a question about it. That also meant going to mass every morning at 8 a.m. Monday thru Friday, mass on Sundays and Holy Days like Ash Wednesday, Easter, Christmas etc. A lot of masses over my eight year sentence in catholic schools. (I guess at least 400 masses.) A lot of Sunday sermons and passing the fund basket around. I was an alter boy and in the choir. I was Godfather to my Boy Scout leader. Include weekly confessions to the priest and regular communion, and that was quite enough spirituality for me.
I had learned my catechism. I knew who God and Christ were, and the Blessed Mother, Joseph, all the bible stories,and all the saints. My brother was named after Saint Stephen, the first Christian martyr. I was named after the apostle Phillip in my 6th grade confirmation ordeal. How much closer to spirituality can one get?
Almost all of that was like a willowy wisp of a memory once I started attending public school in my freshman year, except for Sundays with the family and church. But gradually I stopped going to Sunday church as well when I hit fifteen. Luckily, my parents didn't protest too much, at least not enough to make me feel guilty. And I'm sure you've heard of the famous catholic guilt? Well I didn't feel it.
And until I met my future spouse Janet in my twelfth year at Ewing Public High School, I was a lost, bad, soul. Four years of robberies, lying, bad behavior, fist fists, bisexual encounters, juvenile hall and jail, drinking, drugs etc., all of it. And I didn't feel any of the remorse or consequences after those things either, nor guilt. I had no conscience. But luckily my future wife Janet brought mine back. That was when I began my path to true spirituality, for me.
The next year was spent learning how to love and care about someone else, Janet. Also learning the Tao, and interpreting I Ching hexagrams. Its called the Book of Changes for a reason. And gradually I changed. I opened up to new friends, new ideas, new questions. For once I cared about other things and people besides myself.
And that brings me to my point.
A few days ago I was listening to a Krista Tippett interview of Laurence Krause on NPR (4/14/13). Lawrence Maxwell Krauss (born 1954) is a Canadian-American theoretical physicist and cosmologist well grounded in science (in my opinion). At the end of the show, he gave Krista and the listeners a statement which I had to write down after pulling over. Simply put, he said, "Having spirituality is asking questions and being open to the answers." I just love that and agree completely.
I'm still searching for Truth, as I believe every person is. If not The Truth, then at least Reality, whatever that means. I've been lucky, and with Janet, a 39-year successful work career with the State of New Jersey, my Baha'i Faith etc., I've found reality: family and friends whom all keep me stable.
I thank God for his blessings as often as I can remember to be grateful.
I had learned my catechism. I knew who God and Christ were, and the Blessed Mother, Joseph, all the bible stories,and all the saints. My brother was named after Saint Stephen, the first Christian martyr. I was named after the apostle Phillip in my 6th grade confirmation ordeal. How much closer to spirituality can one get?
Almost all of that was like a willowy wisp of a memory once I started attending public school in my freshman year, except for Sundays with the family and church. But gradually I stopped going to Sunday church as well when I hit fifteen. Luckily, my parents didn't protest too much, at least not enough to make me feel guilty. And I'm sure you've heard of the famous catholic guilt? Well I didn't feel it.
And until I met my future spouse Janet in my twelfth year at Ewing Public High School, I was a lost, bad, soul. Four years of robberies, lying, bad behavior, fist fists, bisexual encounters, juvenile hall and jail, drinking, drugs etc., all of it. And I didn't feel any of the remorse or consequences after those things either, nor guilt. I had no conscience. But luckily my future wife Janet brought mine back. That was when I began my path to true spirituality, for me.
The next year was spent learning how to love and care about someone else, Janet. Also learning the Tao, and interpreting I Ching hexagrams. Its called the Book of Changes for a reason. And gradually I changed. I opened up to new friends, new ideas, new questions. For once I cared about other things and people besides myself.
And that brings me to my point.
A few days ago I was listening to a Krista Tippett interview of Laurence Krause on NPR (4/14/13). Lawrence Maxwell Krauss (born 1954) is a Canadian-American theoretical physicist and cosmologist well grounded in science (in my opinion). At the end of the show, he gave Krista and the listeners a statement which I had to write down after pulling over. Simply put, he said, "Having spirituality is asking questions and being open to the answers." I just love that and agree completely.
I'm still searching for Truth, as I believe every person is. If not The Truth, then at least Reality, whatever that means. I've been lucky, and with Janet, a 39-year successful work career with the State of New Jersey, my Baha'i Faith etc., I've found reality: family and friends whom all keep me stable.
I thank God for his blessings as often as I can remember to be grateful.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
42
America needed a reminder.
I'm not one to say "never forget," because I believe in forgiveness. It's the first step towards forgetfulness and soul-healing. And soul-healing is needed after watching the film depiction of Phillies baseball team manager Ben Chapman lambasting and hurting Jackie Robinson with vitriol, among many insults and death threats by others.
I've always known some Phillies fans were tough, but not that tough. Not as tough and rough as some were during the mid-forties, as depicted in this movie when Jackie made his major league baseball debut. The Phillies have been my favorite team ever since I started paying a little attention to sports. I was hooked on them after they won the 1980 World Series. Before them it was the Yankees of course, having grown up in the fifties reading, seeing, and hearing of Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle. Dad took me to a game at the old Yankee stadium circa 1964 which thrilled and impressed me. But sports have never been my thing, although I easily see why it is for billions.
America needed a reminder.
I was living south of LA during the Watts events of 1965. I remember the black and white images on the TV news, seeing chaos and rampages, and cops and storeowners. 34 deaths and over 1,000 injuries. Over $40 million in damages. Millions of confirmations for some, of the activities they watched, disgust for others, and incredulity for still others. On both sides of the aisle. Watching 42 made me understand why. I would be angry also under the poor treatment received at the hands of some others. Seeing 42 vividly portrayed the motivation for that anger -- on both sides. On one side ingrained prejudice, on the other side long suffering. I got angry watching the movie. And very sad. Some of those hurts continue, and in many more forms.
We are human. Most of us have a breaking point. Jackie did - but restrained himself when it came to others. The scene in the dugout hallway with Rickey consoling Jackie, is what I've felt many times for my African-American brothers and sisters, but was unable to express. Now I'm able to express it in my old age. There is no excuse for the bad behavior against our fellow men and women, and children. However, we all slip up. Most of us have hurt others, intentionally or unintentionally. If we were man enough, we apologized. We have to learn to undue prejudice, the same way we learned it -- from our families, teachers, and friends.
But "some" is the keyword. Not all caucasians and not all African-Americans. Never all. Only some.
42 demonstrates clearly what many of those "somes" experienced for hundreds, if not more, years. On both sides. 42 depicts what some of those "somes" did to combat Racism, like Pee Wee Reese did in the Cincinatti game.
I don't know if I'll ever have the strength of character Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey had. But as a white man I can aspire to that of Pee Wee Reese.
I hope to see the day America no longer needs reminders.
I'm not one to say "never forget," because I believe in forgiveness. It's the first step towards forgetfulness and soul-healing. And soul-healing is needed after watching the film depiction of Phillies baseball team manager Ben Chapman lambasting and hurting Jackie Robinson with vitriol, among many insults and death threats by others.
I've always known some Phillies fans were tough, but not that tough. Not as tough and rough as some were during the mid-forties, as depicted in this movie when Jackie made his major league baseball debut. The Phillies have been my favorite team ever since I started paying a little attention to sports. I was hooked on them after they won the 1980 World Series. Before them it was the Yankees of course, having grown up in the fifties reading, seeing, and hearing of Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle. Dad took me to a game at the old Yankee stadium circa 1964 which thrilled and impressed me. But sports have never been my thing, although I easily see why it is for billions.
America needed a reminder.
I was living south of LA during the Watts events of 1965. I remember the black and white images on the TV news, seeing chaos and rampages, and cops and storeowners. 34 deaths and over 1,000 injuries. Over $40 million in damages. Millions of confirmations for some, of the activities they watched, disgust for others, and incredulity for still others. On both sides of the aisle. Watching 42 made me understand why. I would be angry also under the poor treatment received at the hands of some others. Seeing 42 vividly portrayed the motivation for that anger -- on both sides. On one side ingrained prejudice, on the other side long suffering. I got angry watching the movie. And very sad. Some of those hurts continue, and in many more forms.
We are human. Most of us have a breaking point. Jackie did - but restrained himself when it came to others. The scene in the dugout hallway with Rickey consoling Jackie, is what I've felt many times for my African-American brothers and sisters, but was unable to express. Now I'm able to express it in my old age. There is no excuse for the bad behavior against our fellow men and women, and children. However, we all slip up. Most of us have hurt others, intentionally or unintentionally. If we were man enough, we apologized. We have to learn to undue prejudice, the same way we learned it -- from our families, teachers, and friends.
But "some" is the keyword. Not all caucasians and not all African-Americans. Never all. Only some.
42 demonstrates clearly what many of those "somes" experienced for hundreds, if not more, years. On both sides. 42 depicts what some of those "somes" did to combat Racism, like Pee Wee Reese did in the Cincinatti game.
I don't know if I'll ever have the strength of character Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey had. But as a white man I can aspire to that of Pee Wee Reese.
I hope to see the day America no longer needs reminders.
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