Starting a NJ business

Starting a business is just way to easy. You can do it online and it costs less than $300, or $400 if you also want to register as a NJ small business. I'll go through the steps in a minute.

Your new business won't be vetted by anyone. It seems no one, Feds or State, don't care if you're legit or not. The county and municipalities also have business registration requirements, but could also care less. No welcoming letter, no packet of information on what to do. Nothing -- except web resources. Everything you need to do to start a business can be done online with a credit card, except your business name registration. You can lie. The only thing they check is your social security number. Oh, you also have to register your commodity codes - i.e. business categories, which could mean anything, and you must fill out a long State questionnaire, the REG-1, but all in all, very easy.

Starting a NJ Business 101: First, Google your proposed business name and make sure its not taken.

Second, any adult can register online with a company name and personal information. First, you will need a Federal EIN, Employer Identification Number, which is free, and also available the same day online. (www.irs.gov -- don't fall for the companies that charge you -- it's free). If your registration is successful, it means the Feds don't know any other businesses with the same name, a good thing.

Third, you register with the NJ Div. of Revenue, pay the fee (up to $250), and you're all set. (www.nj.gov) You also have to register with the NJ Div. of Taxation to charge 7% Sales & Use Taxes on all your invoices, because you must pay tax on your business income, quarterly. Unless your a so called professional, then you don't. Register and they tell you how to pay quarterly, although it could be improved. You can do that online also. Like I said, its easy, especially if you register your business as a Limited Liability Company or Sole Proprietorship, which most people do when starting out.  That's one reason there's so many scam artists out there, and why thousands of businesses fail every year. 

• In 2009,there were 27.5 million businesses in the United States, according to Office of Advocacy estimates.The latest available Census data show that there were 6.0 million firms with employees in 2007 and 21.4 million without employees in 2008. Small firms with fewer than 500 employees represent 99.9 percent of the total (employers and non-employers). 

Bottom line: if you can't figure this all out yourself, you probably shouldn't be going into business. You shouldn't pay anyone to do it for you either, unless you have deep pockets and are lazy, or are starting a big company with employees.

There is a lot of online help available, on how to start and run a business properly. For NJ, just go the official state website (www.nj.gov) and click the "Business" tab at the top. You'll be taken to a page that has tons of information on "Starting a business," "Growing your business, "Licenses and permits," and much more.If you are starting a serious business, it pays to read through it all. It might take you all of half-an-hour. The most important thing to do is click the "Business Checklist" on the left side menu, print it out, and follow it.

Also, there's www.SBA.gov, the U.S. Small Business Administration website. It includes similar information, but much more of it, and on video, and also has tips on getting government contracts or getting a loan. It's almost impossible anymore to get grants for your business. Maybe if you're into renewables or something exotic, maybe.  Do NOT pay money for any grant look-up services; there's tons of those services. If you're just a little Internet savvy, you can do it yourself. Bottom line, you won't find much if you're just a run of the mill business. The NJ equivalent is NJ SBDC at www.njsbdc.com, with free info and counseling for start-ups, as well as classes you can purchase.

There's one other basic thing you should do, and that's register your business name with your County Clerk in person. Here in Mercer County, where I've registered both my business names, it only costs $50 per company name, including a notary located there. Its a great protection, and also makes sure no one else has that name. It protects you (by date), if the same name somehow gets registered. As far as your company name goes, you should already have Googled it and gotten your EIN to make sure no one else has it.

Registering as a formal NJ Small Business online is a debatable proposition. Relatively speaking, its expensive: $100 for three years. You do get access to their database, but usefulness is proscribed. It can be helpful getting government bids, since they have set-aside goals. Well, not goals but rather soft "targets," they don't have to adhere to.You will also get access to the NJ Small Business Development Center, free and paid seminars, and free business person-to-person counseling. I didn't find the counseling that helpful, other than to tell me I was on the right track. But they will give you a few good handouts, and their free seminars are worth it.

Another thing you can do is register online for access to all State of NJ bids through email. The State has a lot of Cooperative Purchasing contracts used by counties (21), and municipalities (566), as well. Big audience, but no guaranteed sales. But bidding can be helpful if you're chasing new business, and have the resources to fit their requirements. It doesn't cost anything to register to receive bids by email from the Treasury Division of Purchase & Property. Their website is https://wwwnet1.state.nj.us/treasury/dpp/

The only cost to bid, is the cost of preparation, which you can get back if you win. The documentation requirements for bidding government contracts can be daunting. The requirement for $1,000,000 worth of general liability insurance can be expensive, but you can build that in by hiding it in your bid price. That alone can cost you $10,000, and all NJ contractors have to have it, which is a good thing. You also have to declare any political contributions if your contract is worth $17,500 or more. My advice? Only contribute small sums to candidates or parties. Better yet, do what I do, give them nothing except my vote, and only if they deserve it.

But the most important thing you need, before you do any of this, is to write a simple Business Plan. There's lots of help to do it, but you have to do it yourself. SBA.gov has free videos on it, as well as all other aspects of small business. So there's no lack of excellent resources if you want to start a business.

Good Luck! And I hope you're honest.

"Never forget" is not Enough

I first heard the phrase "Never forget" at a commemoration of Krystallnact at the Rider University Chapel in the mid 1980's. Wikipedia says Krystallnact was a pogrom (a series of coordinated attacks) against Jews throughout Nazi Germany and parts of Austria on November 9-10, 1938. It was carried out by SA (Stabzarzt, i.e. German military) paramilitary and civilians. German authorities looked on without intervening. The attacks left the streets covered with broken glass from the windows of Jewish-owned stores, buildings, and synagogues. We all should know how it ended.

I was sitting in the third row of pews, with about forty other people, listening to personal stories of despair and horror.  Then six candles were lit on the menorah. When the service was over, I left, not knowing what to say to anyone there. The Rider University Holocaust/Genocide Resource Center, first opened in 1984. Marvin, Joan, Harvey and Carol were (and some still are), the dedicated people I met, and got to know, who were spearheading the Center's outreach and education programs.

In the early 1990s the Center hosted a free bus trip for clergy to the newly opened (1992) United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. I was representing the Baha'is, and there were about fifteen of us going. On the way down, the bus showed videos of the Center's education program, to be used in NJ schools. At the museum, like everyone who entered, I was given a card describing a person who had been killed by the Nazis. Some of these cards were also of children, or aged grandparents.

The museum itself was very evocative of the time period, with life sized cattle cars inside, where the Nazis transported thousands of Jews. The most touching part for me, was listening to stories of some of the survivors on a TV screen in an open auditorium. I vowed to "Never forget" what had happened. The real purpose of the vow however, was to never let it happen again.

Of course it has, and on a big scale, as recently as Syria, or Israel and the Palestinians, or the Rwandan Genocide in 1994, where some Hutus slaughtered Tutsis. Over 800,000 people died in that civil war. On a small but no less shocking and painful scale, we now have Newtown, CT to add to Aurora CO, and Columbine High School, also in Colorado. These were committed by lone gunmen, but they are genocide none the less, the killing of innocent adults and children. But saying we won't ever forget them is not enough.

We forget the news all the time. There's so much of it now, it crowds our head for attention. We are bombarded with news channels on TV, radio, even our cellphones. We can't escape the news. That's why we forget. We are pulled from one ugly event to the next, with no time to process the impact and ramifications, and act on what has happened. To act - to change society and people so it doesn't happen again. That's what we are looking to our leaders for - leadership. Guidance - a path away from violence and insecurity. A path to safety and peacefulness which we all want above all else, for ourselves and our chiildren.

Something needs to be done about access to guns in this country. and there's easy things we can do:
1. Maintain a database of anyone diagnosed with mental illness, and prevent them from buying or owning a gun legally. This means doctors must be required to report mentally ill patients to a government administered database, accessible online. Call it NDMI - National Database of the Mentally Ill. We've finally reached a stage in our development where mental illness is no longer a stigma. I should know, I've been bipolar since 1979.

I say this because, being mentally ill, and having been manic or hypomanic almost five times, I can tell you that I was not in control of my thoughts or actions. I had no semblance of reality or rationality to stop me from doing anything that occurred to me. Anything. A good example, is that one time while having an episode, the thought came to me while driving, "Go ahead, speed up and drive right into that tree." If while manic I have no cares about my own physical well-being, I can tell you that others count even less.

Another word for manic is psychotic. During my episodes I was psychotic; I cared only and exclusively about myself. Luckily, I did not become psychopathic as well, with a total disregard for others well-being. The point is, I WAS NOT IN CONTROL. Being bipolar means I have an incurable mental illness. However, luckily, my condition can be helped, and is helped, with the right medications. That is not true for all mentally ill persons.

2. All guns sold must be registered in the seller's name, and in the buyer's name. Full verifiable address information must be available on both the buyer AND seller. They both must be legal adults, and they each must register their Social Security number as well, which is the closest thing we have to universal ID (which is sorely needed). Their (criminal) backgound must be checked. Any violent offense should be cause for immediate rejection.

3. All gun shows and their sales must be carefully monitored and controlled by the ATF (Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives). Again, both buyers and sellers must be fully vetted. Buyers and sellers must be screened on premises with the NCIC database. (National Crime Information Center). Anyone arrested, or convicted of a crime, must be on this central database. Anyone with a record of arrest for violence of any kind, as in domestic violence, assault etc. or possessing a firearm illegally, and/or they are convicted of such crimes, are forever barred from legally acquiring a gun of any kind. Ideally not just in the United States, but all countries.

4. As they are now, all hunters must be legally licensed and monitored. They must be forbidden to sell a gun privately, however, they can sell a gun to a registered dealer or a registered gun owner, as long as the transaction is recorded and reported immediately. Once annually gun owners must bring their guns to the police station to check their valid registrations, or the police can set up administrative personnel to go at the gun owner's home, for an administrative fee to cover expenses.

5. No one is allowed to conceal a weapon when in public. The only exceptions are police and detectives, FBI, Secret Service, military, licensed private detectives etc. General citizens have no right to a concealed weapon of any kind.

6. Assault weapons must be banned, like Uzi's and AK-47's. That also includes high-capacity ammo and gun magazines. The only guns allowed for private sale will be handguns and rifles for a person's private protection and safety (with a limit on how many), and guns used by hunters.

7. I believe there's already law or regulation that states owners must notify police (?) if their gun(s) is/are stolen. This should stay in force, and have penalties for non-compliance.

These rules and laws will be a start to curbing gun violence, because it still takes a person to pull the trigger. People kill people, with or without guns. And all killing must be illegal except in self-defense. That includes re-looking at manslaughter in death-by-auto cases.

Maybe, just maybe, rules and laws like these will begin to help prevent these senseless crimes. And there seems to be a sea change, a tipping point, after these children's shootings. I've heard on NPR that a few conservative Republicans were even calling for review. On Fox 29, watching the news at 8 am, they showed demonstrators outside the offices of the NRA in DC this morning. There was no response from NRA spokespersons. But a man there said to the crowd, "Instead of banning guns, we should arm the teachers." I don't think much about that idea. We need good laws to prevent chaos.

Bottom line, we have moved on since 1787 and our original Constitution. Owning a gun should no longer be a right, but a privilege, a monitored and controlled privilege -- whether by private citizens, police, military or others.Autos don't kill people, drivers do, but we license them in all 50 states. And all states require vehicle registration. In 2011 there were over 32,300 automobile deaths of all kinds.

CNN reported 5,400 licensed firearms manufacturers, as well as 310 million non-military firearms, in the U.S. in 2011. In mid-2011 there were 311 million Americans.

We Need Collective Security

Nations have been invading and conquering other nations (or trying to conquer them), since antiquity. History is replete with examples, like WWI and WWII to name the big ones. But those wars changed something: nations joined other nations to fight the aggressor. Desert Storm, Iraq, Afghanistan, Egypt, are all coalitions that worked and are modern day examples. By extension, U.N. Peacekeeping Forces, although seemingly ineffective at present in stopping wars, have the seeds of an ideal protective force, and will certainly become one in the future.

The concept is sound and workable. Many countries' forces combining to put down the aggressor. It's called "collective security."

And that's what mankind and decent countries need, an international protective force and collective security. The U.N. is the ideal model for this force, because their "soldiers," and "advisors," who come from different countries "on loan," all don the U.N. uniform when deployed. According to their own current world map, they are currently deployed in sixteen hotspots. Like Sudan, Darfur, and Lebanon. Also Haiti, Western Africa and Timor-Leste. They range from 11 peacekeepers in Zimbabwe, to 8,425 in Pakistan.

You can find out more at https://www.un.org/en/peacekeeping/

These peacekeeping forces can't currently be 100% effective because the U.N. member states restrict their operations both politically and physically. This is collective security in principal, but not in practice. It will never be effective as presently constituted.

In the mid 1800's, the Persian Prophet and Messenger of God, Baha'u'llah, made startling pronouncements about the concept of world unity which mankind is desperately seeking today. Baha'u'llah's son, 'Abdu'l-Baha, said in 1912, "About fifty years ago in the Book of Aqdas, Bahá’u’lláh commanded people to establish universal peace and summoned all the nations to the divine banquet of international arbitration, so that the questions of boundaries, of national honor and property, and of vital interests between nations might be settled by an arbitral court of justice, and that no nation would dare to refuse to abide by the decisions thus arrived at."

So the first step to world peace, is international arbitration. We are well on our way there, what with our many ambassadors, the International Criminal Court, people like Hilary Clinton as Secretary of State, and also Kofi Annan (U.N. General Secretary, 1997-2006),  and his recent trips to Syria to broker a peace (which did not succeed).

The second related step is a formal International Court to adjudicate disputes between nations. 

This second step will certainly insure world peace between invading armies and peaceful countries.   'Abdu'l-Baha, in Paris in 1911, spoke more on this theme, "If any quarrel between two nations should arise, it must be adjudicated by this international court and be arbitrated and decided upon like the judgment rendered by the Judge between two individuals." In other words, words are to be used before force when possible. In the Baha'i Faith we call this great principle of arriving at the truth of the matter objectively, consultation.

It should be obvious to any unbiased reader, that if the countries of Europe had followed this and other advice in 1911, it may have avoided the gore and death of WWI.

The third step is what is critical to success: "If at any time any nation dares to break such a decision, all the other nations  must arise to put down this rebellion." If a leader, or a country's military generals etc., know that any invasion will quickly and harshly be put down, it will become, in itself, an effective deterrent to such invasions. This is meaningful collective security. This concept was useful during the 1950's Cold War.

In other words, as in any policy, enforcement has to be a part of it, or it cannot be effective. Baha'u'llah called this the two pillars of human society: "Reward and Punishment." Remain peaceful, and your people will be rewarded; become aggressive, and you (the perpetrator), will be punished. This is one of mankind's simplest laws to understand, from parent and child, to educator and student, to citizen and government.

Is there anything in these statements that doesn't make sense? Let me know what you think.

Review: Playing for Keeps

It took me a long tiome to decide to do a movie review here in my blog. I see so many movies it would get boring quickly if I reviewed even 25% of them. My buddy Rich and I go to the Hamilton AMC 24 every Saturday morning for an early show, usually before 10 a.m. One reason is because I like action movies like Quentin Tarrantino's new Django Unchained coming out at month end, syfy like Avatar, fantasy like Lord of the Rings, and just plain good movies like The King's Speech and Lincoln (saw it twice). The second reason is because I plan for it and look forward to it. The third reason is the cost, only six bucks, and on my retired income that counts a lot. The fourth reason, if you need more, is that the theatre is practically empty that early.

So I like movies. This year I've seen over fifty movies. It's been a slow year. My usual average is sixty.

I liked Playing for Keeps, surprisingly. I say surprisingly because when Rich and I saw the trailer, we both agreed it was either a chick flick, or a Disney family flick. Certainly not action and adventure like we like. So we wrote it off and agreed it wasn't on our list.

Then came today, December 15th, Saturday.

I called Rich last nite after looking up the shows on the AMC Hamilton website. Not a lot of choices. We had already seen Argo (excellent), Killing them Softly (excellent, but Brad was subdued), Flight (excellent - Denzel's the man), Life of Pi (excellent cinematography and special effects -- especially the tiger Mr. Parker), Lincoln (both times extremely excellent), Red Dawn (good story - I thought it was an okay remake), and Skyfall (Daniel is definitely my favorite Bond now). Rich and I knew we were going to see The Hobbitt, but not on opening weekend. Hitchcock was left (not interested), the Guardians (for kids), and Playing for Keeps. Neither Rich nor I can abide horror movies, so The Collection was definitely off the table. Even when desperate, we refuse to see them, no matter how appealing they make the trailer, or how good the actors, like Trespass (2011), with Nicole Kidman, and Nicholas Cage, which was borderline horror, in my opinion.

So guess what, rather than miss a good movie opportunity, we saw Gerard Butler do a good job as an internationally famous, but washed-up, soccer player. I've always loved Jessica Biel, his ex-wife, so she could do no wrong in my eyes. The rest of the cast, with short parts, were good also. Except Dennis Quaid's character. He was meant to be loathed, and it was easy to do. But he seemed half drunk all the time, and this really was, almost, a family picture. I wouldn't take my kids to it unless you want them to see consenting adults do it, even though it's all done off screen.

Catherine Zeta-Jones has to be the prettiest face and body in show business, and she's bipolar like I am, too boot. Uma Thurman was full-bodied and stunningly beautiful as well, and I've always been ambivalent about her. Not her acting abilities -- she's topnotch, but her looks sometimes can be, well, not as good as they could be.

I can say all this because these are all actors -- they're not real people. I'm commenting on their widescreen selves only. But, to sum up, it was an excellent cast, excellent, poignant story that kept me interested to the end, and it had the ending I was wanting and hoping for. Surprising in fact after all the roadblocks thrown in George and Stacie's path towards togetherness. It was very well done that way. And their son, Lewis, played by Noah Lomax, was superb. Just the kind of conflicted 8 (?) year-old I would expect.

So, to sum up, this was definitely another Hollywood formula movie, mostly for adults and families. But it did reach my heart, and I was very happy for the reunited threesome in the end.

I Feel Bad for Nigerian Oil

We all know how important oil is. It moves our cars, trucks boats, motors and more. We make necessary plastics from oil for cellphones to watches..

Nigeria is losing 400,000 barrels of oil a day to criminals. They are stealing it in a network of collusion and corruption, over land and by sea. Royal Dutch Shell is the biggest producer in Nigeria, and apparently they can't stop it.

I just heard this, this morning on NPR (c. 6 a.m., 12/15/12), and I couldn't help but think, How can I stop this thievery when hundreds, possibly thousands of thieves are involved? I can't change their hearts with rational argument, and explain how the world's natural resouirces are finite, and need to be distributed honestly and fairly. I can't go over there and fix it myself. I can't tell my governemnt to do something about it, and have them condemned for intervention.

But I do have a plan. How many state officials must be involved? A hundred? Two hundred? How many security forces are looking the other way, or actually helping with the theft? A thousand? Two thousand? Who are the marketeers buying this illegal oil? A hundred?

My solution is simple. Fire the ministers and government employees involved, as well as the oil workers including the corrupt security forces, and the others. If you can't round them up and put them in jail, at least disburse or deport them out of the country. Replace them with well-paid, highly trained, and honest workers, say for a year until everthing is stable and native Nigerians can be trained and educated to take over. If Royal Dutch Shell is serious about protecting their investment, and the legitimate Nigerian government is the fiduciary for the country's oil wealth, surely there are those who wish to stop the raping and plundering? 400,000 barrels a day is almost one third of Nigeria's daily output. So this corruption is on a massive scale.

We here in America have gone thru this same exact scenario. It was done legally by the robber-barons of the 1800's and early 1900's, until laws like the Sherman Antitrust Act were passed beginning in 1890. Even though they weren't enforced until Theodore Roosevelt was President, we would not be a stable country today without them.

How to stop it? Just laws don't do it. All laws need enforcement strategies and teeth to succeed. But this plan might succeed. It'll take months, but you'd start with a list of the bad folks. Surely good people know who they are. You'd have months of training for the replacements -- both the government workers, and security forces. You'd freeze and seize the accounts of the marketeers, perhaps even raid their homes.One fell swoop, transport all the replacements in one day, swoop in and sweep out the scum the next. Yes, hoodlums can be scum, I was one once.

And all this thievery, the miles of oil slicks from spilled oil, the pain and suffering to the honest workers, is for one reason. The inordinate desire for ease, comfort and wealth. Isn't that the way most criminals start out? Taking something that doesn't belong to them, so they can have it themselves, or hock it for cash?

I apologize for sounding self-righteous. It's easy to get that way in the face of injustice and crime. And I certainly don't intend to mean that wealth is "bad" or "evil." In and of itself it is not. In fact, it's absolutely necessary that every person have wealth. But limits are needed, even if they are self imposed like Warren Buffet, or Bill and Melinda Gates, who believe in higher taxation for the wealthy as one way of redistributing wealth.

Nigeria's environmental situation, some say, is even worse that the mere loss of stolen oil. Miles and miles of Nigerian coasts have been fouled, besides the water itself. At least let someone stop the environmental bleeding.

Circles of Trust

I recently asked myself "How many positions of trust do I have?" When I worked for the State of New Jersey Treasury Department, retiring after almost 39 years, I had a position of trust. In fact, I signed many Confidentiality Agreements. One or two with the State, basically saying I was honest and wouldn't divulge state secrets. What's a state secret? How I and others performed our jobs, essentially. What wasn't secret were my emails, business letters, conversations in front of witnesses etc. I had many instances with vendors, who, in order to provide us hundreds of thousands of doallars in discounts, required we not divulge that to anyone else. In other words, it was for internal purposes only.

Every job, position, relationship etc. requires trust.  Every job has "secrets." For example, when I helped our electrician wire our outlets in our bedroom addition in 1987, he showed me how to put "tails" on the cables ending at the outlet. Basically, we just added 8-12 inches of cable to the outlet, before we screwed the box into the wall, and the outlet to the box. Why? Because if you have a short or (heaven forbid) small fire at the outlet, those cable ends become useless. But, because an extra length of cable was available to pull into the box, it's easy to just clip a few inches of the burnt cable, and use the clean end. Every job has secrets like this, tricks of the trade if you will, that you hardly ever read about. Another way to look at is knowing what really goes on "behind the scenes" of any job, or business. Even marriages for that matter.

Married couples don't show their arguments, or "dirty laundry" in public. Businesses don't either. That's why its shocking sometimes to read the real truth behind a marriage or a business. Enron is one giant example. The Wall Street implosion caused by underwater mortgages, or mortgage-backed securities, was another. So trust between the parties in a business or a marriage, is the key to success. That's why trust is so hard to earn, and so fragile that it can be broken in a second. I can say after our forty-one years of marriage that Janet and I truly trust each other, our kids, our families, and our friends. It's actually a very wide circle of trust. When I was working for the State I had a circle of bosses and co-workers who shared that same trust.

Now that I'm retired, my circles of trust are smaller, but no less important to maintain. First, I'm a Baha'i Treasurer, responsible for handling the Hamilton community's funds. Essentially, I'm trustworthy and doing a good job, or I wouldn't be reelected. Second, I'm a mediator for Hamilton Township Courts. The people who come to us with their disputes expect us to hold what they tell us in confidentiality -- and we do. I have a responsibility to them and to the Courts to maintain that confidentiality, as well as impartiality and an open mind. I must be doing okay, because Janice, my partner, and I, have been doing it regularly since 1994. The annual training we get helps immensely.

Third, I participate in four Memoir classes weekly, and another one bi-weekly. People share their innermost feelings and experiences, opinions and revelations. It's mind blowing sometimes. And they expect, as do I, that what is said will be held in confidence. Also expected is the right of the individual to feel free to say what is truly in their heart. Sometimes people cry when hearing a poignant piece of memoir, or while reading their own. I have. And the folks there are like family, I can share and know that it won't get blabbed to the next door neighbor, or shared with a stranger. It's absolutely liberating and fulfilling to share one's emotions in such an atmosphere. It's another circle of trust.

So what are your circles of trust? How many and what types do you have? Its interesting to think about.

Ah, Breakfast

I have always had a love affair with breakfast, my favorite meal of the day. For thirty-nine years, my days in NJ State government, I never ate breakfast. Before going to work I'd mix some Carnation Instant Breakfast (only chocolate) in a glass of milk, and that was all I needed for the rest of the day until dinner. But I've always loved going to diners, and NJ is blessed with many good ones. I relish a good breakfast. My favorite is bacon and eggs, home fries, English muffin, OJ and coffee. Since I've been retired (2009), I've been blessed to be able to afford going out for breakfast almost every day. And I do.

Hamilton Twp. where I live has a few good diners, and nearby Trenton does also (Pat's Diner on S. Broad). There's Golden Dawn, a mainstay of Hamiltonians, on busy White Horse Ave. Large portions, great food, reasonable prices, and good reliable service. There's the old standy, ____ &Pete's, in Mercerville Shopping Center. Actually not a diner in the physical sense, more a deli/restaurant, but breakfast is always decent and the seniors love to hang out there. Another favorite spot for Hamilton seniors is Fame Restaurant, just a few long blocks up from Golden Dawn.

Fame is owned by the Nodaros family, and their daughter Gina works as hostess many days. She and my daughter Kate have always been best friends, since Steinert High School. Gina always greeted me warmly, sometimes sat with me, and always asked how Janet and I were doing. She always brought over the Trentonian for my reading. She was always so sweet and pleasant, it was easy to like her, and we all do, as well as her dad Tony and mom Denise, who take turns running the cash register. We can see why Gina and Kate are friends. So for a few years, I frequented Fame once a week. There the food was a little different, and I preferred a toasted corn muffin with butter, OJ and coffee. Delicious and cheap. You can find Fame on Facebook.

But things change, and when they dropped the corn muffins (why I don't know - supplier? low volume?), I didn't go as often. Once in a while I still stop in and eat. Even though I only went once every week or two, their good waitresses like Hilde, always knew my name and my order, and brought me coffee immediately. Often I was there before 7 am when they opened, since I usually wake up around four.

The closest diner to me is the Broad St. Diner on South Broad, near my other favorite place, Dunkin Donuts.Owned by a wonderful Greek family, it used to be called Maneta's until 1999. That year, fortunately or unfortunately, there was a large fire that started in the kitchen, and engulfed the place. They were closed for a year for renovations. But what a magnificent transformation! Whereas before it was one floor, with 1950s silver exterior, now it is modern, clean, and inviting. It has a two story tan stucco facade which looks great. The interior is up to date, and did I mention clean? Their cleaning staff is very good, always sweeping, wiping the glass doors, mopping and tidying up.

The first year after reopening, the lines were out the door and there were waits. Now its steady, and on Friday and Saturday nights, usually into the wee hours, it is packed with youths, couples, and adults of all ages. The patrons have coffee, food and a good time, winding down from all the parties and clubbing. The tall girls with very short-short skirts, wobbly on their feet, are sometimes loud and boisterous. But no one is obnoxious or in your face. That's a scene neither Janet nor I ever got involved with.

But back to breakfast. I usually get there at 6 a.m., when the special, discounted, breakfast pricing is in effect. It shaves a dollar or two off my bill as opposed to eating earlier. As I said, I like my crispy bacon and well done eggs, and have that two or three times a week. Cheerios and banana, toasted bagel and cream cheese, or French toast, round out my selections. My good friend George, retired from the postal service for twenty years, loves their chipped beef for breakfast, which he grew up with.

George and I always sit together when we're both there and chew the fat. George's son Ray, graduated with me from Ewing High School in 1968, so George and I have things in common. He was a postal worker, so I've heard some of the ins and outs of their system. Interesting. Did you know, based on seniority, that carriers "bid" on routes, trying to get the best ones? I didn't.

Julio, the duty manager in the morning, sees me come in and sit down at my regular table (#16), across from the TV, and immediately brings me coffee and my small OJ without me asking. The waitresses all know me by name, and I know them: Candace, Dottie, Melanie and Isabel, and others. Isabel recently showed George and I her family photos from Equador, where she's a native. Great fun and beautiful scenery.

I also like the 10% discount I get on the tab every morning. Janet and I have been buying restaurant cards for years, and this year was no different. We bought Steinert's card from Chris across the street. Handsome kid, and on the football team like his brother Matt was, I believe.  My $6.15 breakfast only costs $5.53. So I have saved the $20 cost of the card many times over.  And as a senior now, I think of it as my senior discount, like at Dunkin's. Everybody should be so lucky.

So going to the diner is like going to a family reunion, where everyone knows everyone, and life is good. I heartily recommend you visit it and taste the goodies.

Staples could be Better

If you read enough of my blogs (especially Good Ideas for NJ), you'll see that many have a technical theme. I was trained professionally as a technical writer from 1979 to 2009, when I retired from NJ State government. I wrote Requests for Proposals (bid documents if you will) for computer hardware, software and services for 30 years, and also for energy procurement for ten. That also means I negotiated contracts with all sorts of vendors, big and small, during that time. So I'm a technical guy, and I'm a language guy. Words are very important to me and take on their intended meaning.

I'm also a computer guy, but not a geek or expert. I've used computers for dozens of years to type my documents and spreadsheets, and print them. Hence I like HP printers too. I know enough to find and fix most problems, how to work with techies by phone or by chat, and how to keep my files organized. Like you, I have tens of thousands of files, especially since our first Commodore 64 in the early eighties. And I love Microsoft -- Word, Excel, Powerpoint and Publisher. I even used MS-Access for many projects, as did my staff.

So glitches in computers irritate me, and that extends particularly to the Internet and websites.

Today I tried to do something simple -- send a document to Staples Copy and Print Center. I tried for twenty minutes before giving up. First I went to Staples.com. No help, not even close. Couldn't even find a Copy Center function. But then I remembered the Copy Center had its own web address, so I went there. Again, no help. After searching all the logical links, FAQs etc., and even though I fairly easily located my local Staples store, I could not find anything close to being able to send them a document for printing. I always ask myself, "Is it me?" But I try to be thorough -- I even check the sitemap down below, and open links that seem not to have any bearing - and they don't.

What I would have liked was something that connected me to my Hamilton Marketplace Staples store, instead of just telling me the store hours. Nothing. But I know it can be done! Janet does it every month when she sends our Baha'i Newsletter to them, they print it, and we pick it up an hour or two later. Why does it work for her? I figured it out finally. She has the email address of one of the Copy Center Associates, and sends her doc directly to them.   I want to be able to do that also.

So today I will go to our Staples Copy Center, pick up an Associates business card with their email on it, go home, sit at the computer, and email them my instructions and my color document to be laminated.  So fine, the job will get done.  But why does Staples make it so difficult?

I'm not really complaining, just gripping a little. Having the Internet has been a Godsend, and it gets better every day. I absolutely love Wikipedia and the usual ease of finding the information I'm looking for. But, just as in Staple's case, too many company websites are lacking, or downright unfriendly.

I have a website: www.rrenergyconsulting.com. It's for my business. My artistic son Jesse created it for $300 after I sent him the texts. Cheap at twice the price, which would be the average cost. And he did a beautiful job. I love the logo, and my matching business cards look great. It doesn't matter (to me) that the pages are static, lifeless. I had plans to put up energy tips, and have whole files of them, but never get around to organizing them, and sending them to Jesse for uploading.I guess companies with websites can't do everything either.

The worst part about poor websites is that sending them a note  through their "Contact us," never works well. One, they force you to chose a category for the message which has no bearing, and two, sometimes they even require a product code or an order code. If it was optional, then okay. Ridiculous! I guess they just don't care what their customers think. And that's a shame, because I'll still frequent my Staples store. At least the Associates are nice, and always say Hello when I enter. That's their policy.

How to Publish Memoir: Part Two

Continued from Steps one thru four.

Sixth: You have to decide if your serious about writing your story. If not? Fine, use pen and paper. If you are? Get a computer and Microsoft Word. Learn how to type, even if its just with two fingers like I do, although keyboarding is much better. I like Dell and HP, but any brand will just about do these days. In my estimation, every serious writer has to master Word and organize and save their documents. Its a fantastic writing tool. For one, it underlines grammar and spelling errors in green - very helpful. If you're still unsure of the spelling, go to Google. Enter "define embarrass" - it'll give you the correct spelling and definition.

Also buy an All-in-one printer. I have an Officejet 6500A Plus. That's why my autobiography has an 108 page Appendix with tons of photographs, pictures etc.because the scanner is so easy to use. And I use the fax on occasion -- very handy. Be careful here - the new printers will not print if even one cartridge is out of ink. That includes color. The older printers printed black even if a color cartridge was empty. Sometimes these companies should be shot.

Seventh: Buy (or download it free online) Strunk and White's Elements of Style. It's all of 85 pages. If you already have or bought a computer, you should also be or become familiar with email and Wikipedia, two indispensable writer's tools. Of course there's much, much more you can use and do, but that's enough to get started. Oh, and read Stephen King's On Writing, its mandatory reading (and studying) for memoir writers, in my opinion.

Eighth: Give a short meaningful title to all your pieces, stories etc. Insert a Heading on every piece. In the heading, insert "Draft # 4" (or whatever it is each time), followed by the copyright symbol, the year, and your name. Also date it. I use Word's triple heading slots. Insert Page Numbers at the bottom of the page. I use the "Page 2 of 4" format. Save each piece you've written in a file by name. I have many files for my pieces "Books." "Memoir pieces finished" "Memoir classes" etc. Whatever floats your boat. But be organized about it.

Ninth: Start editing and polishing when the piece is mostly done, when you're done writing "what happened."  Add how you felt at the time and what others expressed. Add dialogue that you remember, or the gist of it. Add settings, sights and sounds. Use action verbs only.  Show AND tell. In other words, learn from others or buy a good book on how to write better. There's a dozen good ones out there. This is the toughest part by far. Only you can do it unless you hire a ghostwriter (which, if you have the dough, is entirely possible).

Tenth: Okay, your essay, chapter or book is done, its ready - for something. Whether two pages or two hundred. Now what? Print it out and give it to your kids or your wife, and your done. For now. Or do you, like me, want to publish your work? Well, you need a plan if you're going to publish, that's all there is to it.  Here, let me describe mine so you get an idea....

To be continued after publication of my first book, Episodes of ABLiA (A Blessed Life in America).

How to Publish a Memoir: Part One

Writing about your life can be easy or difficult, depending. For me it was easy. Janet glibly mentioned one day "Why don't you write your memoir and do something?" This after lounging at home for three months doing nothing after retiring from State service after 39 years. So in June 2009 I began.

I finished writing what happened a year and a half later. 364 pages. I found it easy -- no emotion, no display of emotion, only what happened. As Janet and Jesse said later "It's the most boring thing ever written." And it was. But it was everything, from birth to age sixty-two, from soup to nuts, nothing left out. Even my breakfast menus, and how many cups of coffee I drink per day. Boring.

It wasn't until the 19th Winter Poetry and Prose Getaway, in January 2011, hosted by my dear Baha'i brother, Peter Murphy, that I actually found my writer's voice. I haven't stopped writing personal, and emotional, memoir since.That's a discovery every good writer has to find for themselves. I can't help you with that.

But I can help you get started. Even someone who's never written a word about themselves, their likes and dislikes, their ups and downs, failures and joys, can do a magnificent job writing their story. I firmly believe with patience and perseverence, you can do it. And you should. If not for your own sake, for the sake of your children, parents, coworkers, friends or other family. Once you really get started, you'll love it like I do.

First: You need to know English. Basic spelling and grammar. Whatever you learned in school, if you at least went through middle school, is enough.

Second: Whether you use block printing like I do, or can write in cursive, get some paper and pens, and just write something, anything. Don't worry about spelling and grammar at first, or finding the right word. Think of an event in your life - your first paying job, getting married, jail time, high school years, smoking pot, whatever - just write what you remember -- in your own words. You are not an author -- yet.

It's best to do this on a computer. I use Microsoft Word, which I recommend. It's universally accepted as a standard. It has great editing capabilities, showing edit mistakes with a green underline - very helpful. It even shows spelling mistakes, invaluable. And if you're still unsure of spelling, go to Google, enter "define embarrass" and it shows the correct spelling. It can also save your doc as a PDF easily. When done, you can load your Word doc, or a PDF.


Third: Like Stephen King says in On Writing (my favorite book on how to write),  you need an Ideal Reader. At least one person you trust to share your story with and give you feedback. Too raunchy? Emotionless? Boring? Exciting? Unique? Whatever, it will be something meaningful to you, and that's really all that counts. But feedback is critical if you ever want to publish. And publishing your book will only cost from zero to a few hundred dollars, and then you watch the profits roll in - if its compelling. That process starts with Step Eleven.

Fourth: Exercise your writing and reading muscles. Join a local library writing group. I participate in three within a ten mile radius of my home. If you can't find one start one. Approach your local library like I did for my Monday Memoir Classes. Send them an email with your proposal. All they require is that it's free and open to the public. Read your pieces to others -- the feedback is invaluable  -- and free. Did I mention free? So far you've spent nothing.

Note: I made a conscious decision NOT to read any memoirs by other authors until my rewritten memoirs were done. I didn't want to be influenced unduly. Oh, I've read a number of books on writing and grammar, it helped me get my thoughts together. More reading will be coming soon, before I want to publish my edited works. Bottom line though, if you want to write memoir well, read other memoirs, like The Memoir Project or The Glass Castle. Tuesdays with Morrie was also fairly good.

Fifth: Another way to get started sharing, is to sign up for www. Proust.com if you're not ready for face-to-face sharing. If you do nothing else, do this. Its absolutely the best way to get started as a writer of memoir. Its intimate -- just close family and friends -- in other words, you invite others to read your personal stuff. And you delete them (and your stuff) if you don't like them or it. You have 100% control. I would not skip this, and, of course its free.

 Continued in Part Two

My Two Favorite Movies

I've been seeing a movie every Saturday at my local AMC Theatre for the past three years, rarely missing a weekend. Richie, my movie buddy, brings Nino's Bakery danish or creampuffs for us both. Umm, good. I buy us Dunkin coffees afterwards and we shoot the breeze. Umm, good.

I hardly ever see the same movie twice, although I've made exceptions like 1977s Star Wars which I saw four times during its first week. Oh, it blew me away! Science Fiction is my favorite genre, so, more recently, Avatar was another mind-blower. I have the Star Wars Trilogy and Avatar on DVD as well, two of only a few movies I bought. Actually, I don't buy any. But on occasion I will put one on my Wish List and get it for Ayyam-i-Ha, my birthday or Christmas. Aren't holidays wonderful!

Speaking of science fiction, two movies changed my outlook on life completely. Before seeing these movies I was parochial, focused only on life around me and the joys of childhood unencumbered, with no thoughts of a world larger than what I could touch. These specific movies, changed my outlook and worldview, or should I say, gave me a worldview that would stay with me all my life. Of course I have these two movies on DVD also, one black and white, one colorized. I watch both of them at least once a year, with the lights out, in the comfort of my bedroom, alone.

It's a fantastic blessing having lived in the 20th, and now the 21st, centuries. None of us can fully appreciate the time in which we live, I don't think. By the 1950s movie special effects could be very haphazard - some done well, some not. Very different from today where movies like Life of Pi (which I saw and loved) are incredibly seamless. Its really, really hard to believe the tiger Richard Parker is 100% computer generated. At least that's what I heard, but I can't vouch for it. Either way, movies today are all incredibly good with SFX. (I know, SFX stands for sci-fy, but to me they're synonymous.)

I can't remember which one I saw first, so I'll describe them by release date. The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951), starring Michael Rennie as Klaatu with a wonderful, believable, supporting cast, blew me away the first time I saw it. I must have been 10 or so, circa 1960, watching it on our small black and white TV at our 84 N. Clinton Ave apartment in Trenton NJ. I have basically memorized the movie, so I won't go into details.

However, the climax is what affected me most, besides the fantastical alien-inspired storyline. The point I got from the movie, which I firmly believe, is that all people must learn to live and cooperate at all levels (or we will destroy ourselves), and that we are NOT the only sentient creatures in the universe. The corollary is that anything is possible. This was years before I fell in love with Captain Kirk and Spock in Star Trek.

The second was Forbidden Planet (1956) with a dramatic role by Leslie Nielson, and again, a great cast of characters well-played, especially, when I was younger, Robby the Robot, played by Frankie Darro (thanks Wikipedia).  Almost exactly the same themes as The Day the Earth Stood Still, only from a human point of view. Richard Parker reminds me of the real tiger in Forbidden Planet -- both totally believable. The colorized version of the film is just superb.

To be fair, I've hardly ever seen a movie in a movie theatre that I didn't like, unless you count Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof in Grindhouse, overall an absolutely horrible film.When I was a kid and watching House on Haunted Hill at Trenton's Lincoln Theatre on Warren St., where an actual (fake) human skeleton rolled out on wires from the back of the theatre, or George Romero's Night of the Living Dead at the Lawrence Drive-in with Dad, I loved horror films. That stopped four decades ago. Now with movies like Saw, I am appalled.

I hope to start a movie review blog just for fun. Last night (12/1/12) I saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn II. It had good, and slow, parts. The (movie) story was not told as well as it could have been. But the action/fight scene was incredibly well done, and the surprise ending handled very well (even though I read all the books, I had forgotten). I do like action more than anything. Being "a man of action under all conditions" is another thing entirely, and something I strive for.

For Your Smoking Pleasure

“If I quit now, maybe I’ll last out the year,” I said to myself, for the umpteenth time.  Many times I say it out loud when I’m sitting on our front porch having my first smoke of the day.  Its four or five a.m. and dark out, before the dawn’s light.  “Stupid cigarettes!” is another favorite of mine, which I say even more often. 

I’ve been smoking almost continuously since I was 14.  Cigarettes cost 35 cents then, from a machine no less, which cost more than the Deli.  Now that I’m 62, the green phlegm has started. Now I always  cough some up the first thing in the morning, which Google says is a bacterial infection of the lungs. I’ve got to stop. But I like smoking, even though my liking it has masked my addiction.

For years I’ve been smoking Salem 100s. I refuse to buy regular cigarettes anymore, and haven’t for a long time. Regular cigarettes cost the same as 100s, but are an inch shorter.  100s are a better value for the money, but not the lungs. Since 2007 I’ve bought my cartons at Smokin’ Joe’s in Morrisville, just across the Calhoun St. Bridge.  It’s a six mile trip from Yardville, but saves me $20.00 per carton, well worth the extra gas.  At 7/11 for example, when I buy a pack because I’m out and must have one, the clerk says “That’s $8.59 please.” “You’re kidding,” I say, then hand over the cash. I don’t do that often!  

At Joe’s a carton is just $65.00, and lasts me about three weeks.  My wife Janet still digs me a little when she pays the monthly credit card bill, but I don’t mind. Considering I only have four vices - cigarettes, coffee, breakfast every morning, and a Saturday movie with friends, she lets me slide. I don’t drink alcohol or do drugs, so that’s not an issue. Besides, she doesn’t have any vices, so what can I say?

A carton lasts longer if I’m not on my regular schedule of one an hour from morn until after dinner. Baha’i and other meetings force me to refrain. And, the writing’s on the wall. Rite Aid doesn’t even sell cigarettes, and CVS doesn’t sell Salems. The laws against smoking in public places, office buildings etc., have only gotten more restrictive.  And the stigma has deterred me from lighting up near others, especially kids.  I haven’t smoked inside a building for the last ten years, except my garage.  Alone, especially in the cold and rain.

I started smoking in Grammar School in 1964.  To be precise, it was Sacred Heart Grammar School on South Broad St. in Trenton.  All of us were “good” Catholics, attending Mass every morning before class, and on Sundays.  Still, practically all us boys, and half the girls, smoked Marlboro’s by 8th grade, the most popular brand.  There was no way to avoid that rugged cowboy on TV or billboards pushing the things. Even TV shows and movies had smokers.  Winston’s were also popular, and their motto “Winston tastes good like a cigarette should,” was ubiquitous.  TV advertising showing actual smoking was banned in 1971; smokeless advertising was banned in ‘86.  

In the tobacco settlement of 1999, all cigarette billboards were replaced with anti-smoking messages. In a parody of the Marlboro Man, some billboards depicted cowboys riding on horses with slogans like "I miss my lung, Bob."  So, you see what I mean, the writing’s on the wall for smoking.  Now I just have to convince my body and mind.

I actually convinced myself to stop cold turkey in 1992, the Holy Year.  That year Baha’is  commemorated the passing of Baha’u’llah, Prophet Founder of my beloved Baha’i Faith, and I was inspired, which doesn’t happen often.  My wife Janet and family were ecstatic I stopped, and I got a lot of praise and more kisses.  But it only lasted for two years before I started again, when I felt added pressure to perform at work.  I was in the habit of going out and buying lunch as a replacement for smoking, and just bought a pack one day at the Deli.  I can still remember that first cigarette, which was awful.  But soon I got right back on the Salem's horse.

Then in 2003, I tried the nicotine patch, wearing it on my shoulder every day for three weeks or so until the urges stopped.  That worked!  But then in 2005, I hired away Ed Mercer from the Division of Building and Construction, to come work with us in the Energy Office.  We hit it off great!  Ed’s knowledge and experience with all things energy related was phenomenal, and I couldn’t learn enough from him.  I started accompanying him on his cigarette breaks every day, first only bumming a smoke occasionally.  After two months I realized how persistent I was getting, and bought my own pack. 

So much for that!  I started out only smoking 4 or 5 cigarettes a day for the next few years, but then I retired in 2009 and got into my current routine of ten a day.  It’s still a bit better than the pack a day I smoked during my youth and young adulthood.  But you don’t have to tell me that’s not good, I really do know.

Also in 2005, Janet and I went to see Thank you for Smoking with Aaron Eckhart. Aaron plays Nick Naylor, Big Tobaccos's chief spokesman. A totally underrated movie, it was so bad (in a good way), it was comical. Aaron was the glib defender, actually making sense in his arguments/statements about smoking. The satire was thick, but got all the points across. But the movie poster says it all - a man's body, looking like a politician, with a big bright campaign button on his chest. And, a frightening-looking lit cigarette head, trailing smoke. Ugh!

Janet lets me smoke (outside only - which I don't mind at all), and I appreciate that, even though its insane that I do so. When I come in the house after having a smoke, she’ll say, in only her tone, “You stink!”  I know its really bad when she says "Oh God!" I then spray myself a few times with Glade Fabric and Air Freshener, which we keep by the door, just for me.  It’s a regular item on the shopping list.  At first I really got ticked off when she said it, but now I just feel a moment of guilt, and it passes quickly.  Mouthwash is on the shopping list too. Smoking and its smell is disgusting, and I’m glad it’s banned in so many places.  

I count the days until I stop.  I’ve set a goal, the publication of my memoir “Episodes of ABLiA (A Blessed Life in America).”  Its part one, of two or three books. I finished a decent draft in mid-December. Please pray for me to get it printed.

I'd like to get rid of my periodic smoker's cough too.

I Love my Honda Dealer

I am generally loathe to endorse products or services. However, I can easily recognize when I should make exceptions. Two are my beloved Dunkin Donuts which I utilize daily for coffee, and my favorite breakfast place, Broad Street Diner, where they know me well. Hamilton Honda has a ways to go before they know me well, but they're getting there.

With three Honda's to take care of -- my 2008 Civic, Janet's 2008 CR-V, and Kate's 2003 CR-V -- I have a lot to care for, as does Honda. It took Janet and I a long time to find the most reliable cars. We have operated or owned twenty cars between us since 1968. A Rambler, VW Wagon and VW Bus, two Pontiac's, two Chevy's (including a Chevette), two Toyota's, a Saturn, a Nissan, a Buick LeBaron, to name most. That's not counting the additional cars we bought for Jesse and Kate. There's a blessing right there -- being able to afford a car -- any car.

I have two old favorites: the 1957 Chevy Bel Air I first learned to drive when I was sixteen, and my gold 1965 Chevy Impala with Mag wheels, four-on-the-floor, and black leather interior. Not to mention the 327 HP under the hood. Being stupid, I sold it rather than pay for an $80 clutch, after failing miserably to replace it myself. All that still doesn't mean we know anything about cars. Heck, me and a friend, Mike Reilly, even replaced an engine in my 1963 Chevy Nova, and I regularly changed alternators in the old VW Bus. Oil changes were a snap. I changed out the carburator on my '65 Chevy as well. Those were the good old days when you could work on your car yourself.

These days you can't. Okay, if you want to do oil filters and oil changes yourself, you still can, if you have the patience and blocks. I still have my 1971 oil pan to collect the drained oil. But I don't even do that anymore. Not when it only costs $20 at a garage ($32 at a dealer). At Hamilton Honda, we get free oil changes for life on both 2008's, so you really can't beat that. Offering free oil changes when purchasing a car was a great dealer tactic for a while, but some are now reneging. Actually, free oil changes is the best way to get a customer to return to the shop that there is, and then the dealer merely up-sells the customer for big profits.

I just took the CR-V to the Express this morning. Thirteen point inspection, and a fantastic waiting area, make going to Hamilton Honda actually pleasant. Sometimes I just stop in for the free coffee - after all, I am a regular customer! 

When service is needed - I check first if its over $75. Like Kate's 2003 CR-V at Willis some months ago, whom we used prior to Hamilton Honda. I check two ways: first on the Internet to find comments about the problem, and second, physically. I walk in the garage, they raise the car on the lift, and I look at the bushings (I always look). I had the car in a week before for a minor recall, and they pointed out the worn tie rod and other bushings then, which were split open. This allows water to enter and rust the area. Not good. I did NOT get the service done then. I made an appointment on my Honda Link for a week later after checking what the Internet said about it.

Since they opened I love waiting at Hamilton Honda for repairs to be made. Did I mention the freebies like coffee, TV and Internet? They also have a full deli, with delicious bagels among other things. I get the Everything bagel toasted with butter. Yum! Tables to sit at and write, or to read the free USA Today. Once in a while I take it home to show Janet an article or two. Comfortable chairs and two large screen TVs (they should leave the remote out though). Jesse Armstead, an owner, really did a great job designing and setting up this dealership. Even our double buying experiences weren't too bad. (More on that later)

Also, of course, all the staff are capable and friendly. Like I said, I just went to Express for a free oil change. While dropping it off before going to the main lounge, the clerk offered me a coupon for $20 off a filter the car needed. Offered! I didn't know there was a special, so that was extra considerate. That kind of service can't be bought. Therefore, the extra I pay for (parts and labor), I really don't mind. I'm paying for the convenience and I understand that.

However, I never lose sight of paying extra for their service and convenience. The filter was $79, about $30 more expensive than it should have been, in my estimation. After all, the filter is only paper and plastic, and they must make millions. But, changing out dirty filters is a must. Honda's smart, all their cars have a five year design life, so the parts are good for some time sitting in inventory. But again, there's that convenience...it didn't have to be ordered -- it was right there. As most businessmen know, inventory is killer -- it kills profits. So, alright, I pay extra for that. But not $30!

On the flip side, other service charges seem reasonable to me. Like the $389.98 timing belt replacement special they seem to always offer. That's a bargain, in my opinion. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that done? Given the small engine area space, special tools etc. I couldn't do that. And it needs to be done every 100,000 miles, which we have done like clockwork. Doing it has helped our cars last longer and avoided unnecessary, common, breakdowns.

They also take customer satisfaction seriously. Once, while waiting almost three hours, I got a little ticked off. So when I filled out their online service survey later, it was negative in that regard. Lo and behold I got a call from Don, the rep who took my order, apologizing and asking for a better rating. I would have done so, if I had been able to do it online, but I couldn't find out how, so it still stands. But poor service is rare from them, as well as long waits; normally they're outstanding. And, They did offer me shuttle service to our home two miles away, which I have used before.

This is not to say our Honda's need excessive service -- they don't. But the 2003 CR-V with over 130,000 miles sorta did. The rest was mainly maintenance. After all, it is ten years old . . . .

So, Hamilton Honda is a great place to hangout. Maybe I'll see you there?

Starting to Write Memoir - Part two

About writing memoir, in general:

That’s where the “art” in “S-T-A-R-T” comes in. Like I said, writing my autobiography from scratch was easy. Making it art, or good memoir, is difficult. Just as Stephen King has said, reading your genre is key to good writing. At the top of my list is On Writing, King’s own memoir, then comes The Memoir Project and so many others. King says dialogue attribution is very important, and adding dialogue is critical to good memoir. But, like most visual learners, I have a terrible memory when it comes to the exact words spoken. Whereas Tony can rattle off pages of dialogue, I remember only snippets. Just enough to make it real and believable, and, that’s all that’s needed. Style is another aspect of good writing, and again Stephen hits the nail on the head when he cites The Elements of Style (1918) by William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White. I quote Stephen, “There is little or no detectable bullshit in that book,” and, it’s only 85 pages long. However, the most important thing for any writer, is his or her own “voice.”

I found my voice on January 14, 2012, at the 19^th Annual Winter Poetry & Prose Getaway. It was in the Advanced Memoir class. I wrote three short paragraphs about my stay in an orphanage, because of a family tragedy in 1954. The family was devastated, and became scattered. 21 rewrites and months later I had a three page, very compelling story. One that resulted in stunned silence when read aloud at the Green Acre Baha'i School Writer's Workshop. For the first time, I had found my own voice as a writer. Finding mine has made my writing only that much easier. Now I help others find theirs, and pay close attention when I hear others share their voice. Reading other memoirs and listening to others, helps develop mine more clearly. It also helps me project louder and more confidently.

The hard part of writing memoir, of course, is writing about oneself. I am the “star” of my own writing, again from the word “START,” as in starting one’s memoir. It can be tough writing about oneself. Especially, if they’re heart wrenching experiences.  The sensitive personalities and feelings of every reader showed forth recently, and astounded our public audience. Our class leader Maria  organized and hosted our first public readings at the Lawrence Library in August. (1) I and others were moved by Marion’s “Please Let Me Die,” Robert’s “End Games,” and Carmella’s “Gift from God.” A few of us contributed some light pieces as well. We have to do this more than once a year!

Memoir isn’t really persuasive writing. After all, I’m not really hoping to change your opinion, or get you to buy something when I tell my story. Unless its Dunkin coffee or my book, of course! Memoir isn’t business or technical writing, far from it. Technical writing is boring, but that’s my background. So I must always incorporate facts and new information into my writing. For example, did you know that only 2% of writers even publish? That’s still over 325,000 books a year in the U.S.! But I’m slowly learning how to write better, and now I really like it, without holding back. That’s another tough but necessary part – not holding back. Yet my fellow memoir classmates inspire and continue to surprise me with their honesty. I can do no less. 

 (Note 1) Sadly, Maria passed to the next world suddenly and shockingly on November 16, 2012, the result of an auto accident. She will be sorely missed. Our 20+ writers hope to continue classes.