"Where's the Beef?" "Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow . . . Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow . . . ." Remember the 1986 IBM PC AT commercial with a Charlie Chaplin look-alike? I didn't either. Or, speaking of computers, remember the green apple with bites taken out of it by Commodore 64? We had one of them, with its 8-inch floppy drive and small fat tan keyboard. How about Steve Ballmer in a cheap plaid jacket selling Windows 1.0? How about memorable annual Superbowl commercials like the Budweiser Clydesdales, or hard to understand ones like cute blonde Kaley Couco from The Big Bang Theory, dressed in a purple pantsuit granting extreme wishes? And she was selling the Toyota RAV4 - did you get that?
I remember the Benson & Hedges smoker in his VW Bug, smashing the long cigarette into the windshield on a sudden stop. None of us can count the millions of commercials we've seen over the years, since Ad Agencies like fictional Sterling Cooper from Mad Men, with its headquarters on Madison Ave. grew more and more powerful since the fifties. Ad campaigns cost capital, and all business owners, whether using xeroxed posters hung in storefronts, or multi-million dollar campaigns like Microsoft Windows 8, have been brainwashed that advertising and marketing had to be a big business expense.
Now with minute-long You Tube videos going viral, or a good Facebook placement, social media is now the marketing buzzword. "Are you effectively marketing your business via social media? Facebook, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest and Linkedin are just a few networks we're experienced in," is the byline of hundreds of companies that will do it all for you - write your tweets, Facebook entries, send out email campaigns, write your copy for you and on and on. Oh, and if you're a business without a website? Forget it -- no one will ever find you or hear of you. Or verify you exist.
There's only a couple problems with America's advertising and marketing model, which believes sales always result from new commercials to either drive more sales or push a particular product. Well newspapers are dying, mainly because advertisers are moving to other mediums, hence papers like The New York times now sells online subscriptions, a much saner model. Word-of-mouth, always the most effective means of promoting brands, has taken on greater meaning today. The only problem with it is that when someone likes your product they may tell a few people, but studies have shown if they hate your product or have a bad experience with you, they'll tell ten or more people. And its long been known that a 1% success rate on any advertising is a great return. Oh, only no one can measure it with much accuracy. That's a problem. We "think and hope" our advertising will be successful.
Also, maybe part of the issue is the growth issue. "We must grow our sales," and our profits. Have you often wondered if this is a company's purpose, rather than making the best product or providing the best service? Will you agree with me that generally we don't mind paying a little more for better quality? When we can tell the difference that is. And the Internet has been getting better and better at doing that with user reviews, although we're still a long way from more independent sources like Consumer Reports, which only focuses on the most popular items.
So, the forever question has always been "How do I grow sales?" New models have emerged, like the subscription model, or membership model. They always existed, but are growing exponentially. Angies List is a good example of a Consumer Reports/personal review subscription model combined with a membership model. And the local gym membership is another. But voluntary memberships, although you receive their services, fail. Take WHYY Public Radio. Excellent programs most everyone loves, but only a small percentage pay for.
More and more people are searching for these things, tired of being offered only one choice, or limited sources, with no specifications or personal reviews given on the product's efficacy. So word-of-mouth is best, which is good because it means companies better make better products. We're fed up with being "told" they're better -- now we want proof.
Bottom line, since the turn of the century advertising no longer sells products, like soap or soup, it sells differences -- brands -- like Campbell's vs Progresso, Coke vs Pepsi, Toyota vs Honda, People Magazine vs Us, Pine Sol vs Mr. Clean. Its successful -- we're brand loyal. And this is one of the rules of business -- "Its easier and cheaper to sell to an existing customer than to a new customer." Just threaten to leave Xfinity or T-Mobile sometime and see what discounts they offer you to stay. We got offered $50 off our monthly cable bill and some free movie channels for example when we left them. My Mom's cell phone bill went from $46 to $7, after she told them she was on limited income and had to cancel.
Another growing consumption model is the usage model. "The more you use, the more you pay." We're not there yet but should be. Now the first hundred kWh on your electric bill costs x cents, and the second hundred costs less. We have a discount mentality. The more we buy, the greater discount we expect. This is ass backwards. "Tiers" and "levels" etcetera are ways to accommodate the current mentality but actually charge the true cost and provide greater profits.
I'm not talking about the truism that producing one of something costs more than producing thousands on a per unit basis. Modern business is well organized and with computers knows exactly all costs involved in materials and production. No, I'm talking about big companies like Walmart which extract huge discounts from their suppliers before they'll do business with them, actually putting them just above minimum profitability, but without honor. Kinda like the $.00034 cents songwriters make on each of their records sold. Or the 7-8% writers make on their books from big publishing houses vs 70% from self-publishing.
So I'm in favor of the subscription, membership and usage models for sales, and not the heavy advertising models. . . . We'll see soon what comes out of this new knowledge age. Oh, and by the way, basic social media sites and websites are currently, I repeat -- currently -- free.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Like you, I've had many ups and downs, and quite a few sideways experiences. I firmly believe everyone should write theirs and share them, whether just for themselves or their kids. Here are some from my memoirs, observations and thoughts.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The Joy of Birth
I recently wrote a post about my son Jesse, his beautiful wife Rachel, and their new daughter Sienna (born this March). And how Janet and I found ourselves as grandparents for the first time! All very good stuff like survival of the species, continuation of our family name in some form, and a comfortable enough life, health and wealth-wise, for them and us to enjoy it all.
So I believe in life. And I haven't read any scientific study yet that says human life DOES NOT start at the moment of conception - sperm meets egg kinda stuff. For decades now in this country, debates have been raging, laws have been changing, and attitudes have either been cemented or flexible on what that means.
I look at all this simply. Only a woman can get pregnant (aside from Ripley's Believe It or Not), its her body, and the fetus relies upon her to be carried to full term (put aside surrogates for the moment, but still true). A lot can happen along the way for a multitude of reasons. Some of those reasons start at how the baby was conceived. Was it love? Rape? Was it in a test tube? Was it in or out of wedlock? And many others.
For example I was conceived out of wedlock, but my parents eloped and got married by a justice of the peace. When my mom asked her Catholic parish priest in 1950 to bless the marriage, he told her to wait, since once done "the marriage was irrevocable." Now, marriages don't seem to be irrevocable anymore. So every woman gets pregnant under their own personal circumstances. Legislation will not make it all one way, regardless of the benefits under certain laws or no laws. That goes for legal, regulatory restrictions and social mores as well. In my opinion.
And that brings us to the extremely divisive subject of abortion. It goes without saying that I'm glad my Mom didn't abort me (especially since I had no name), and decided to give birth. And she was fortunate; consulted with my young father, and they decided to make a go of it. Another child two years later and a swift legal divorce, left her and my brother and I on our own. Mom's own love, hardwork (jobs) and tenacity, and family, and even Catholic Charities, all helped pull us thru to the good life, along with my step-father Ralph, when the past didn't matter and we able to make our own way. Together.
Perhaps, when Mom found out she was pregnant, just perhaps, it needn't have been a choice between abortion, giving me up for adoption, elopement and even marriage. Perhaps Federal, State and local governments could've been there with a safety net to hold her hand thru it from day one. Unfortunately that safety net wasn't there then and isn't here yet. Its disjointed, with wide gaps. Some, like some adoption agencies, are for profit, although they provide a social benefit, at a high-end cost of $35,000. Non-profit orgs seem to do more in education and caring than the government. Government is just now, 2013, offering job training and decent livable jobs, limited housing, nursery and childcare, and a support system for new mothers, especially Food Stamps. Child support laws have gotten stronger.
Of course, for the wealthy, even moderate wealth, having necessary resources makes it much easier. And usually successful.
So I ask, for the pregnant mom, who is there to help her make it work? We all need someone, some help, sometime and somewhere. Without family, healthcare and wealth, who is there for the pregnant mom? I may get in trouble from some by saying this, but organizations like Planned Parenthood have the stated objective to help mom get thru all the roadblocks. Education. It all starts with education. Even the name "Planned Parenthood" is a start to gathering these resources, making them intelligible and easy to use, and doesn't stop until the parent or parents are able to cope on their own steam.Wouldn't that be ideal?
I remember years ago volunteering some lunch hours to work for "Mother Mary," a dear, aged woman, fostering health education for unwed mothers. I would go help move boxes, or sort donated clothes into sizes for the sale bins. The two-story building she managed on Warren Street in center-city had a run-down lounge and classroom on the second floor. It was a valuable all volunteer service.
Maybe the real crime we should be discussing is not abortion, but the lack of of a comprehensive knowledge and support system, one not fragmented by so many different state laws, policies and rules. And certainly, if not available now, egg transfer from one womb to another willing one will one day may be common, preserving the pregnancy.
Perhaps mom (and dad), should give the fetus its birth name upon that first visit to the doctor's office or clinic?
By Rodney Richards, NJ
So I believe in life. And I haven't read any scientific study yet that says human life DOES NOT start at the moment of conception - sperm meets egg kinda stuff. For decades now in this country, debates have been raging, laws have been changing, and attitudes have either been cemented or flexible on what that means.
I look at all this simply. Only a woman can get pregnant (aside from Ripley's Believe It or Not), its her body, and the fetus relies upon her to be carried to full term (put aside surrogates for the moment, but still true). A lot can happen along the way for a multitude of reasons. Some of those reasons start at how the baby was conceived. Was it love? Rape? Was it in a test tube? Was it in or out of wedlock? And many others.
For example I was conceived out of wedlock, but my parents eloped and got married by a justice of the peace. When my mom asked her Catholic parish priest in 1950 to bless the marriage, he told her to wait, since once done "the marriage was irrevocable." Now, marriages don't seem to be irrevocable anymore. So every woman gets pregnant under their own personal circumstances. Legislation will not make it all one way, regardless of the benefits under certain laws or no laws. That goes for legal, regulatory restrictions and social mores as well. In my opinion.
And that brings us to the extremely divisive subject of abortion. It goes without saying that I'm glad my Mom didn't abort me (especially since I had no name), and decided to give birth. And she was fortunate; consulted with my young father, and they decided to make a go of it. Another child two years later and a swift legal divorce, left her and my brother and I on our own. Mom's own love, hardwork (jobs) and tenacity, and family, and even Catholic Charities, all helped pull us thru to the good life, along with my step-father Ralph, when the past didn't matter and we able to make our own way. Together.
Perhaps, when Mom found out she was pregnant, just perhaps, it needn't have been a choice between abortion, giving me up for adoption, elopement and even marriage. Perhaps Federal, State and local governments could've been there with a safety net to hold her hand thru it from day one. Unfortunately that safety net wasn't there then and isn't here yet. Its disjointed, with wide gaps. Some, like some adoption agencies, are for profit, although they provide a social benefit, at a high-end cost of $35,000. Non-profit orgs seem to do more in education and caring than the government. Government is just now, 2013, offering job training and decent livable jobs, limited housing, nursery and childcare, and a support system for new mothers, especially Food Stamps. Child support laws have gotten stronger.
Of course, for the wealthy, even moderate wealth, having necessary resources makes it much easier. And usually successful.
So I ask, for the pregnant mom, who is there to help her make it work? We all need someone, some help, sometime and somewhere. Without family, healthcare and wealth, who is there for the pregnant mom? I may get in trouble from some by saying this, but organizations like Planned Parenthood have the stated objective to help mom get thru all the roadblocks. Education. It all starts with education. Even the name "Planned Parenthood" is a start to gathering these resources, making them intelligible and easy to use, and doesn't stop until the parent or parents are able to cope on their own steam.Wouldn't that be ideal?
I remember years ago volunteering some lunch hours to work for "Mother Mary," a dear, aged woman, fostering health education for unwed mothers. I would go help move boxes, or sort donated clothes into sizes for the sale bins. The two-story building she managed on Warren Street in center-city had a run-down lounge and classroom on the second floor. It was a valuable all volunteer service.
Maybe the real crime we should be discussing is not abortion, but the lack of of a comprehensive knowledge and support system, one not fragmented by so many different state laws, policies and rules. And certainly, if not available now, egg transfer from one womb to another willing one will one day may be common, preserving the pregnancy.
Perhaps mom (and dad), should give the fetus its birth name upon that first visit to the doctor's office or clinic?
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The Joy of La Familia
As a white, semi-poor, Catholic boy growing up in Trenton in the late 50s and early 60s, I had many Spanish friends. At the time we didn't know or use the more correct term Latino as we do today, nor Hispanic. Actually, during those times, my Spanish friends did not identify themselves as Hispanic or Latino, or Guatemalan or Mexican or from any country at all, to me or to my friends. Essentially we white kids learned that anyone who spoke any form of the Spanish language was Spanish and nothing else.
I attended 8th grade at Sacred Heart Elementary School on S. Broad St., a few blocks from the exact center of town at State and Broad. Sister Florence, or Flossie as we called her behind her back, taught Geography, which I loved. We had a globe in class and large maps of the world she would pull down in front of the chalkboards. The main Mercator map showed the U.S. as the center of the world, naturally.
To us, Latin America at that time consisted of the countries between the U.S. southern border and the continent of South America. South America was a separate entity with its own countries like Bolivia, Columbia, Brazil, Chile etc. That's what we were taught.
I don't know where my dark-skinned "girlfriend" Dominica was originally from. To me she was American and Spanish was her heritage, like mine was Italian and Irish. In the mixed neighborhoods where I had grown up, there were no class or ethnic distinctions except for those who were prejudiced against "blacks." That was the universal word used by teachers, parents and others for African-Americans who lived in the U.S. But on Centre Street next to school, there was a large Spanish population, and generally we respected each other.
Oh, I did have a fight in front of church with an older Spanish boy who kinda ruled the roost when he was around, but the fight was declared a draw after we circled and slashed at each other with our four-inch knives for half-an-hour. I don't think he was as exhausted as I, but he was kind, and just let me skulk away to our apartment three blocks away. He was also an excellent pool player at the CYO third floor lounge where I and friends hung out, which was right next to church. The altercation probably started over that.
But to me he was just one person, with his own personality and quirks. I hadn't been taught by Mom to stereotype and group a class of people as bad or good, or this or that, regardless of the terms I overheard. And the nuns refrained from doing that in most cases. Yes, there was prejudice in some, but only a few that I recall, and the intensity always varied. I was never around an extreme racist. Since we all had to live in these neighborhoods close to each other, it paid to get along.
I had just turned 14 when I met Dominica. I met her on the stoop of her apartment on the corner of Lamberton and Centre, one block from school. She was free, expressive, energetic and a terrific flirt. The f word punctuated her speech just as it did mine. She never introduced me formally to her parents. She may easily have had other "boyfriends."
But when I was with her, she treated me royally, introduced me to her neighbors and friends, and she would cuddle in my lap as we went about our teenage dance. She was two years older, and to me she was a woman of the world and I was very proud and pleased to be in her presence. I can recall her pretty face, framed by thick long brown hair, high cheekbones and deep-set brown eyes. And her voice lilted when she spoke . . . .
I would have to leave her by 10 p.m. to catch the Parkway Ave bus back home to Ewing where we lived by then. Our "fling" hadn't lasted long, only two months until July, when I became preoccupied with other sexual explorations.
I attended 8th grade at Sacred Heart Elementary School on S. Broad St., a few blocks from the exact center of town at State and Broad. Sister Florence, or Flossie as we called her behind her back, taught Geography, which I loved. We had a globe in class and large maps of the world she would pull down in front of the chalkboards. The main Mercator map showed the U.S. as the center of the world, naturally.
To us, Latin America at that time consisted of the countries between the U.S. southern border and the continent of South America. South America was a separate entity with its own countries like Bolivia, Columbia, Brazil, Chile etc. That's what we were taught.
I don't know where my dark-skinned "girlfriend" Dominica was originally from. To me she was American and Spanish was her heritage, like mine was Italian and Irish. In the mixed neighborhoods where I had grown up, there were no class or ethnic distinctions except for those who were prejudiced against "blacks." That was the universal word used by teachers, parents and others for African-Americans who lived in the U.S. But on Centre Street next to school, there was a large Spanish population, and generally we respected each other.
Oh, I did have a fight in front of church with an older Spanish boy who kinda ruled the roost when he was around, but the fight was declared a draw after we circled and slashed at each other with our four-inch knives for half-an-hour. I don't think he was as exhausted as I, but he was kind, and just let me skulk away to our apartment three blocks away. He was also an excellent pool player at the CYO third floor lounge where I and friends hung out, which was right next to church. The altercation probably started over that.
But to me he was just one person, with his own personality and quirks. I hadn't been taught by Mom to stereotype and group a class of people as bad or good, or this or that, regardless of the terms I overheard. And the nuns refrained from doing that in most cases. Yes, there was prejudice in some, but only a few that I recall, and the intensity always varied. I was never around an extreme racist. Since we all had to live in these neighborhoods close to each other, it paid to get along.
I had just turned 14 when I met Dominica. I met her on the stoop of her apartment on the corner of Lamberton and Centre, one block from school. She was free, expressive, energetic and a terrific flirt. The f word punctuated her speech just as it did mine. She never introduced me formally to her parents. She may easily have had other "boyfriends."
But when I was with her, she treated me royally, introduced me to her neighbors and friends, and she would cuddle in my lap as we went about our teenage dance. She was two years older, and to me she was a woman of the world and I was very proud and pleased to be in her presence. I can recall her pretty face, framed by thick long brown hair, high cheekbones and deep-set brown eyes. And her voice lilted when she spoke . . . .
I would have to leave her by 10 p.m. to catch the Parkway Ave bus back home to Ewing where we lived by then. Our "fling" hadn't lasted long, only two months until July, when I became preoccupied with other sexual explorations.
Monday, June 24, 2013
The Joy of Absurd Humanism
It was December 15th or so, 1979. I was in an examining room at Fair Oaks Hospital in Summit NJ. talking with Mark Gold, a handsome young doctor in his white smock with an easygoing manner. He was cool and "hip" -- both Janet and I liked him.
"You might get a kick out of what I'm going to tell you," he stated.
"Really, Doc? Is it
good news or bad?"
"Funny you should say
that because, actually, it's good news."
"Okay, hit me," I
said.
"Rodney, you have Bipolar
Affective Disorder," Dr. Gold told me.
He had diagnosed me as
-- BAD!
"You're manic-depressive," he said.
When he said that, I joked, “Yeah, I’m BAD all right! Badder than you,
Doc!” I wasn't happy or sad. It was just information. Information I had never heard and knew nothing about. "BAD" would
have been a fair moniker in my troubled youth, but now I thought, Hell, I’m respectable! Happily married with a beautiful wife and son, great extended family, lots of friends, and a secure career with the State of New Jersey in computer Technical Resources and Development.
Dr. Gold finished by saying
"We're starting you on the drug Lithium, which should help prevent this from
happening again. Are you alright with that?"
"Whatever you say Doc,
whatever you say." I hadn't ever heard of lithium, but I never had a fear of drugs, good or bad, and had
complete confidence he knew what he was doing. I had always trusted my doctors,
even the failures like my unsuccessful surgeries to remove the ugly polynoidal
cyst on the base of my spine. The third one had been the charm.
I wasn't happy or sad upon hearing this "BAD" news. It was just information. I felt a little like Meursault in The Stranger. To me Mearsault's story epitomized absurd humanism, wherein we have no control of the events in our lives. I would later write a college paper on the novel for my professor in English Lit at Mercer County Community College (MCCC). I'll never forget that paper: the library research and reading, Mom typing it at home on onion skin paper with carbon copy on her Royal typewriter, and Mr. Cowan giving me an A+. It had become a favorite book of mine because of the high grade. That A+ helped me pass that class.
Absurd Humanism, Camus, Albert (7 November 1913 - 4 January 1960)
"His three major works are The Stranger (1942), The Plague (1947), and The Myth of Sisyphus (1942). [He was a Nobel Prize winner.] The first [book], with its famous opening lines (“Mother died today, or maybe it was yesterday.”), showed humans as being outsiders trying to obtain self-awareness in a world they do not understand. It is the story of a thoughtless killer, one whose major wish upon the day of his execution was that he would be greeted by “an enormous crowd who would call out to him in hatred.” How tragic, Camus is saying in the novel, that man is a stranger to his environment, a stranger to the humanism of which he is a natural part. Although, like Jean Paul Sartre, Camus wrote of “the absurd,” he did so in a distinctly different and more constructively humanistic fashion."
"Camus recognized life’s injustices. He knew that man must be positively dedicated to life, must develop a moral responsibility, and must be anti-nihilist." (Source: Wikipedia -- and there's much more)
He was the existentialist's existentialist, and he and Jean Paul Sartre had "spirited" disagreements.
There's much more to Camus' atheistic philosophy than I can recount, but to me at that moment in Dr Gold's exam room, I felt life was absurd. I was just caught in its ebb and flow.
I don't remember Dr. Gold explaining to me what bipolar meant, but I'm sure he did. And I know Janet understood, thank God. In other words, I was mentally ill. I was 29 years old, and had probably been experiencing mild mania since my teens. That was an easy way to explain away how wild I was with stints in Mercer County Jail and Juvenile Hall (a youth prison), to prove it. From age 14 until I had met my future redheaded wife Janet in high school, she a senior and me a junior, I had tried and done everything you can imagine in the late '60s. Except physical violence other than an occasional fistfight.
So I didn't have any feelings one way or the other when told I was crazy, afflicted with a mental disease I had never heard of. In fact, very few people had at the time. It hadn't been recognized by medical professionals and the AMA until the early '70s. Now the National Institute of Mental Health estimates 5.7 million U.S. sufferers. The National Alliance on the Mental Illness estimates 10 million Americans. Thirty percent of those who go untreated commit suicide.
I don't believe life is absurd, but it can certainly seem that way at times. There is greater purpose -- as I eventually learned from great humans like Camus, my wife and many others.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Thursday, June 20, 2013
The Joy of Keeping Receipts
I love hardcopy receipts. I believe a hardcopy or printable receipt should be mandatory for every financial transaction, whether at Walmart or the bank. It goes without saying that retail stores must give you a printed receipt. It's useful and critical for a number of reasons. Website sales companies are still catching up to this idea and leave a lot of room for improvement.
1. Returns. Need to return a gift, or broken item, or merely something you don't like? Than take it back to the store, with your receipt, for a refund or exchange. Although I love Kohl's, their emphasis on convenience has gone to far when you can return an item without a receipt. Bad business model. Great way to lose money. Not everyone is trustworthy -- yet.
My Mom gave me a bright red Keurig coffee maker from Kohl's, no receipt, for my birthday. Janet and I took it into the store near us, found a white Keurig machine, same everything, took both machines thru the checkout and walked out with the white one -- no questions asked. Not one. This is a bonanza for thieves and criminals. Worst case? I should have gotten Mom's receipt and taken it back. Or, any confusion could have been avoided with a gift receipt -- that's why they give one when asked.
2. Bank receipts. I love the new ATM's where you submit your checks or cash for deposit, and get a printed receipt with pictures of the checks on them. Marvelous! It beats filling out a deposit slip and waiting in line for a cashier who has to check everything three times. In fact, I've loved ATMs, ever since I first started using them at Corestates bank in center-city Trenton in the '80s. And I always selected "Yes" for "Print a receipt?" as if, as if, there should be a choice. The receipt should print automatically. Many times I found someone's receipt sitting near the machine. Stupid. A receipt is physical proof. It will hold up in a dispute or court of law, when necessary. Why give up that protection?
And no matter where I am, being charged a fee for making a deposit, or, withdrawing funds from any ATM, should be forbidden. An ATM must cost a fraction of what a full time teller costs, except for the machine and maintenance costs. What overhead is there? Ten cents per transaction, maybe? The machine itself is overhead. The cost of accepting or disbursing funds and printing a small receipt is the Cost of Doing Business, or the Cost of Goods Sold. I don't have to pay a transaction fee at my AMC theatre every Saturday when I see an action or sci-fi flick, or anywhere else (unless online -- that's not a scam because that convenience is worth something, even tho it could be priced as part of the item cost), so why do I at the ATM? Ah, yes, that pesky "convenience factor."
3. Sales Tax receipts. One day the state Sales tax you pay will be deductible on your income tax. As far as I've researched its not now. It should be. It must become so. Just like the Son of Liberty who threw a barrel of tea into Boston Harbor in 1773, I'm appalled we have double and triple taxation and we haven't changed it yet.
I do think, in fact I know, its not fair to use my hard-gained income to pay NJ sales taxes on most goods and services, and yet not be able to deduct those payments from my NJ Annual Income Tax return! How do we stand for this? The same goes for the Use Tax, but that's a stupid tax and should be abolished outright. If the legislature wants to keep it on companies who make a lot of out-of-state purchases, then that makes sense. But don't tax me extra because I buy my cigarettes in Pennsylvania!
4. Contributions-in-kind. Did you know if you donate something of value, any value, to your church or non-profit organization, they have to give you a receipt? Some items, like an expensive ring for example, would have to be appraised if you want to deduct full value on your income tax as a charitable contribution. This also begs the question, when you donate items to your local church for their yard sale or as a bingo gift, you better be getting a receipt from them. But, big but, the org doesn't have to put a value in dollars on your receipt unless you can prove its cost/price, and having a receipt from the original seller to you is a good way to get that.
5. Charitable receipts from non-profits. We should all know these receipts are invaluable as deductions on our annual federal income tax, and apparently there's no limit to how much in contributions you can deduct. But you have to itemize on your tax return.
As the Treasurer of our local church, giving out hundreds of written receipts every year, its an absolute must to keep good records. Not only good records, but duplicate receipts as well. I've helped contributors many times for their annual returns.
And this brings us to the present burning controversy over 501c eligible non-profits. Cemetery Companies? Any organization doing anything political? Absolutely no 501c status is deserved in my opinion. And there's a list of thousands of orgs that must be tested to pass the exempt requirements, many, in my opinion, with dubious social or community benefits.
The legitimate non-profit orgs, for example the International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, like most non-profits, aim toward a social or community good, basically promoting education on the issue. You may call this political because you believe nuclear weapons are okay (Iran). So opposing views should be encouraged and public hearings held when orgs seek 501c status. And in order to retain it. The stated mission of the International Physicians is to free the world of threats by nuclear weapons (promoting disarmament), and preventing war. Now I consider those goals to be socially commendable and worthy of non-taxation. But the IRS reviews hundreds and thousands of orgs to see if they meet the 501c test: The organization must have an "exempt purpose," cannot be political, and profits cannot inure to individuals, among other requirements.
So what's the current controversy about Tea Party orgs all about? You mean they're not political? Does it really matter if they're only 10% political, so therefore they should get exempt status?
Sometimes these issues aren't as clouded as the media outlets and orgs themselves make them out to be. I mean, they and congressional leaders are fighting and bombastic about all of this, so 501c status must be important, right? Doesn't that mean orgs seeking 501c should be thoroughly scrutinized and tested?
So it all comes back to receipts. Hold on to your receipts, they may be more valuable than you realize.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
1. Returns. Need to return a gift, or broken item, or merely something you don't like? Than take it back to the store, with your receipt, for a refund or exchange. Although I love Kohl's, their emphasis on convenience has gone to far when you can return an item without a receipt. Bad business model. Great way to lose money. Not everyone is trustworthy -- yet.
My Mom gave me a bright red Keurig coffee maker from Kohl's, no receipt, for my birthday. Janet and I took it into the store near us, found a white Keurig machine, same everything, took both machines thru the checkout and walked out with the white one -- no questions asked. Not one. This is a bonanza for thieves and criminals. Worst case? I should have gotten Mom's receipt and taken it back. Or, any confusion could have been avoided with a gift receipt -- that's why they give one when asked.
2. Bank receipts. I love the new ATM's where you submit your checks or cash for deposit, and get a printed receipt with pictures of the checks on them. Marvelous! It beats filling out a deposit slip and waiting in line for a cashier who has to check everything three times. In fact, I've loved ATMs, ever since I first started using them at Corestates bank in center-city Trenton in the '80s. And I always selected "Yes" for "Print a receipt?" as if, as if, there should be a choice. The receipt should print automatically. Many times I found someone's receipt sitting near the machine. Stupid. A receipt is physical proof. It will hold up in a dispute or court of law, when necessary. Why give up that protection?
And no matter where I am, being charged a fee for making a deposit, or, withdrawing funds from any ATM, should be forbidden. An ATM must cost a fraction of what a full time teller costs, except for the machine and maintenance costs. What overhead is there? Ten cents per transaction, maybe? The machine itself is overhead. The cost of accepting or disbursing funds and printing a small receipt is the Cost of Doing Business, or the Cost of Goods Sold. I don't have to pay a transaction fee at my AMC theatre every Saturday when I see an action or sci-fi flick, or anywhere else (unless online -- that's not a scam because that convenience is worth something, even tho it could be priced as part of the item cost), so why do I at the ATM? Ah, yes, that pesky "convenience factor."
3. Sales Tax receipts. One day the state Sales tax you pay will be deductible on your income tax. As far as I've researched its not now. It should be. It must become so. Just like the Son of Liberty who threw a barrel of tea into Boston Harbor in 1773, I'm appalled we have double and triple taxation and we haven't changed it yet.
I do think, in fact I know, its not fair to use my hard-gained income to pay NJ sales taxes on most goods and services, and yet not be able to deduct those payments from my NJ Annual Income Tax return! How do we stand for this? The same goes for the Use Tax, but that's a stupid tax and should be abolished outright. If the legislature wants to keep it on companies who make a lot of out-of-state purchases, then that makes sense. But don't tax me extra because I buy my cigarettes in Pennsylvania!
4. Contributions-in-kind. Did you know if you donate something of value, any value, to your church or non-profit organization, they have to give you a receipt? Some items, like an expensive ring for example, would have to be appraised if you want to deduct full value on your income tax as a charitable contribution. This also begs the question, when you donate items to your local church for their yard sale or as a bingo gift, you better be getting a receipt from them. But, big but, the org doesn't have to put a value in dollars on your receipt unless you can prove its cost/price, and having a receipt from the original seller to you is a good way to get that.
5. Charitable receipts from non-profits. We should all know these receipts are invaluable as deductions on our annual federal income tax, and apparently there's no limit to how much in contributions you can deduct. But you have to itemize on your tax return.
As the Treasurer of our local church, giving out hundreds of written receipts every year, its an absolute must to keep good records. Not only good records, but duplicate receipts as well. I've helped contributors many times for their annual returns.
And this brings us to the present burning controversy over 501c eligible non-profits. Cemetery Companies? Any organization doing anything political? Absolutely no 501c status is deserved in my opinion. And there's a list of thousands of orgs that must be tested to pass the exempt requirements, many, in my opinion, with dubious social or community benefits.
The legitimate non-profit orgs, for example the International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, like most non-profits, aim toward a social or community good, basically promoting education on the issue. You may call this political because you believe nuclear weapons are okay (Iran). So opposing views should be encouraged and public hearings held when orgs seek 501c status. And in order to retain it. The stated mission of the International Physicians is to free the world of threats by nuclear weapons (promoting disarmament), and preventing war. Now I consider those goals to be socially commendable and worthy of non-taxation. But the IRS reviews hundreds and thousands of orgs to see if they meet the 501c test: The organization must have an "exempt purpose," cannot be political, and profits cannot inure to individuals, among other requirements.
So what's the current controversy about Tea Party orgs all about? You mean they're not political? Does it really matter if they're only 10% political, so therefore they should get exempt status?
Sometimes these issues aren't as clouded as the media outlets and orgs themselves make them out to be. I mean, they and congressional leaders are fighting and bombastic about all of this, so 501c status must be important, right? Doesn't that mean orgs seeking 501c should be thoroughly scrutinized and tested?
So it all comes back to receipts. Hold on to your receipts, they may be more valuable than you realize.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
The Joy of Having (Enough) Wealth
In one or two of my prior blogs I wrote that wealth is needed for every child, youth, adult and senior.
What do I mean by that. Here's some thoughts:
For children: The first condition of true wealth is having loving, caring and supportive parents, or at least parent, as in my growing up years. These days grandmothers and relatives, even adoptive and foster parents also fill that role. Without this strong foundation of love and support, well . . . . It's like one of my favorite quotes from Alexander Pope, "... just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined." Bad habits are picked up quickly, along with bad influences. Also, if the foundation isn't strong, the house will fall, to paraphrase Jesus Christ.
You need wealth, for the child and the parents/caregiver, in order to provide that strong foundation. Number one is enough wealth for food, shelter, clothing AND HEALTH CARE (including mental health). Extended families, companies, government and society have obligations in this regard.
Also, for children all the way to senior, education is needed. The full quote from Pope is, "'Tis education forms the common mind; just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined." We pay education lip service, especially in this age of competitiveness and technology, when we need highly skilled, specialized workers. (Visas anyone?) And education is the key that solves all problems. All problems. One idea can change the world, if it can be executed. For that, knowledge and heart are needed.
And I don't mean just college education. Definitely not. My days at Mercer County Community College, for as much as I enjoyed them, didn't teach me how to run a 120v line in my house, or stop a toilet from leaking. But, what are we nuts? Yes, yes, book learning and experience are the foundations of education, fine, but give me shop class, automotive class if I'm so inclined, plumbing and electrical classes as well, even home economics (home finance is making a comeback). These used to be standard in the large high schools. Now they're few and far between. Not everyone will be a bond trader, or doctor, software engineer or CPA, all valuable of course, but college is not the only path to a successful job and career. Yet its made out to be our savior. We also need carpenters, electricians, masons, plumbers, mechanics and the rest. Honorable professions all.
And speaking of education, especially here in the U.S., what superintendent came up the bright idea to make all their school principals equally responsible for facilities management? 40% of energy used in this country is for buildings. These school buildings need fully trained, certified facilities managers, especially, especially, for the decrepit shape most of our school buildings are in. Forget the posh schools with new roofs who can lease solar panels. That's not a tenth of what facilities management means. So we task the principals? Just to save a buck? To kill a needed payroll position? To keep the mass of taxpaying seniors happy so their school tax doesn't rise a few cents? (Seniors and income is a whole other issue entirely, coming soon.)
For youth: No wonder we say "lost generation," "me generation" and other terms. Where can they go? What have they to do to keep them out of idleness and trouble? Does society build YMCA centers? I loved the Trenton Y pool, elevated track, and Jujitsu classes when I was a kid, and I quicky got over my em-barr-ass-ment swimming naked. In the fifties when I was growing up I also remember the Boys Club on Centre St. and its pool table. Now its Boys & Girls Clubs of America. How do we build more?
We may not have to build more. Do a hundred thousand empty school buildings provide any kind of safe haven for youth on nights and weekends? Example, our local Hamilton Township Free Public Library just started free "Movie nights." I'm going to see Skyfall next week. Why can't we have movie nights in these empty school auditoriums, or, let the boys (and girls) use the courts at night? Or boys, girls and families use the school swim pool on weekends? And this when cities like Trenton are closing their public pools in the summer because of revenue shortfalls? Again, what's so difficult about this? Lack of a paid lifeguard? Lack of a janitor to unlock, lock and clean up? I'll bet you could find thousands of parents available to organize and monitor these extracurricular activities. Are these taxpayer paid for facilities or not? Shouldn't we be using them for the youth (and their families) by having Family Movie and Pool Nights'? I'm sure we can think of other wholesome activities as well . . . .
What would we rather do, give our youth socially acceptable things to enjoy and do in safe surroundings? Or watch them join gangs and roam the streets?
For youth and adults: Jobs, jobs, jobs. I mean it must be true that our salary scales are totally out of whack if Chinese materials and manufacturing and packaging and shipping across the ocean over 6,000 miles costs less than we can make it for here. Okay, its not that simple. The standard of living and living costs are 50% less in China than the U.S., and Chinese factory wages are one-tenth that of Americans. And they don't get health care like they should, and they work in unsafe and deplorable conditions, including getting killed -- all things that shouldn't be accepted anywhere. In fact, until countries provide health care and safe working conditions, companies should be forbidden to do business with them, regardless of what the consumer demands.
And what about young adult internships. All unpaid internships must be criminalized. It's merely a nice term for slavery and patently unjust and unfair. We have a minimum wage for a reason. I agree its not perfect. Its unfair because everyone, McDonald's drive-thru window order taker like my son Jesse in high school, or clerk typist typing 40 wpm, or retail clerk, or gas station attendant, all get the same minimum wages. Unfair.
The guild system recognized different levels of skills and talents, and so should we. But we shouldn't add corruption and "buying" a position like the guilders did. Maybe if unions changed their name to guilds there wouldn't be so much animosity towards them, or on the other extreme, fear of unreasonable demands and inflexibility. Unions serve a legitimate purpose and that is to balance workers rights with management rights, that's why we need fair labor laws and 100% independent Arbitration Boards with legally binding pronouncements. And these boards should be set up and run independently by the government and not paid for by corrupt companies, nor use up the life savings of an employee who loses a case.
Take "At Will" employees for example. How would you like to go to work knowing that if you didn't do what you were told, shady or not, you could be handed an empty cardboard box? That's why state workers have civil service and administrative law judges, for management to justify its actions. Nor on the other hand, should supervisors and managers be afraid to write up and fire unqualified, unproductive or lazy workers. Hey, somebody else could do terrifically at that job. No entitlements either.
So back to my point: everyone needs a certain amount of wealth -- a caring loving family, and a caring, nurturing society; health care; education; and a job leading hopefully to a career. Easy for me to say right? I had all those things right? Yes, by my mother's hard work, by chance, my hardwork, more chance, and more hardwork.
I'm a lucky one. And because I got lucky I want others to share in that luck if they can work hard and work good, whether with their caregivers, their teachers, their spouses or their bosses.
And then? You guessed it! Retirement in sunny Florida. I'm still in Jersey, still in the top ten most expensive states to live in (the Northeast is generally), but maybe we'll visit Disney World one of these days. That would be a nice bonus.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
What do I mean by that. Here's some thoughts:
For children: The first condition of true wealth is having loving, caring and supportive parents, or at least parent, as in my growing up years. These days grandmothers and relatives, even adoptive and foster parents also fill that role. Without this strong foundation of love and support, well . . . . It's like one of my favorite quotes from Alexander Pope, "... just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined." Bad habits are picked up quickly, along with bad influences. Also, if the foundation isn't strong, the house will fall, to paraphrase Jesus Christ.
You need wealth, for the child and the parents/caregiver, in order to provide that strong foundation. Number one is enough wealth for food, shelter, clothing AND HEALTH CARE (including mental health). Extended families, companies, government and society have obligations in this regard.
Also, for children all the way to senior, education is needed. The full quote from Pope is, "'Tis education forms the common mind; just as the twig is bent, the tree's inclined." We pay education lip service, especially in this age of competitiveness and technology, when we need highly skilled, specialized workers. (Visas anyone?) And education is the key that solves all problems. All problems. One idea can change the world, if it can be executed. For that, knowledge and heart are needed.
And I don't mean just college education. Definitely not. My days at Mercer County Community College, for as much as I enjoyed them, didn't teach me how to run a 120v line in my house, or stop a toilet from leaking. But, what are we nuts? Yes, yes, book learning and experience are the foundations of education, fine, but give me shop class, automotive class if I'm so inclined, plumbing and electrical classes as well, even home economics (home finance is making a comeback). These used to be standard in the large high schools. Now they're few and far between. Not everyone will be a bond trader, or doctor, software engineer or CPA, all valuable of course, but college is not the only path to a successful job and career. Yet its made out to be our savior. We also need carpenters, electricians, masons, plumbers, mechanics and the rest. Honorable professions all.
And speaking of education, especially here in the U.S., what superintendent came up the bright idea to make all their school principals equally responsible for facilities management? 40% of energy used in this country is for buildings. These school buildings need fully trained, certified facilities managers, especially, especially, for the decrepit shape most of our school buildings are in. Forget the posh schools with new roofs who can lease solar panels. That's not a tenth of what facilities management means. So we task the principals? Just to save a buck? To kill a needed payroll position? To keep the mass of taxpaying seniors happy so their school tax doesn't rise a few cents? (Seniors and income is a whole other issue entirely, coming soon.)
For youth: No wonder we say "lost generation," "me generation" and other terms. Where can they go? What have they to do to keep them out of idleness and trouble? Does society build YMCA centers? I loved the Trenton Y pool, elevated track, and Jujitsu classes when I was a kid, and I quicky got over my em-barr-ass-ment swimming naked. In the fifties when I was growing up I also remember the Boys Club on Centre St. and its pool table. Now its Boys & Girls Clubs of America. How do we build more?
We may not have to build more. Do a hundred thousand empty school buildings provide any kind of safe haven for youth on nights and weekends? Example, our local Hamilton Township Free Public Library just started free "Movie nights." I'm going to see Skyfall next week. Why can't we have movie nights in these empty school auditoriums, or, let the boys (and girls) use the courts at night? Or boys, girls and families use the school swim pool on weekends? And this when cities like Trenton are closing their public pools in the summer because of revenue shortfalls? Again, what's so difficult about this? Lack of a paid lifeguard? Lack of a janitor to unlock, lock and clean up? I'll bet you could find thousands of parents available to organize and monitor these extracurricular activities. Are these taxpayer paid for facilities or not? Shouldn't we be using them for the youth (and their families) by having Family Movie and Pool Nights'? I'm sure we can think of other wholesome activities as well . . . .
What would we rather do, give our youth socially acceptable things to enjoy and do in safe surroundings? Or watch them join gangs and roam the streets?
For youth and adults: Jobs, jobs, jobs. I mean it must be true that our salary scales are totally out of whack if Chinese materials and manufacturing and packaging and shipping across the ocean over 6,000 miles costs less than we can make it for here. Okay, its not that simple. The standard of living and living costs are 50% less in China than the U.S., and Chinese factory wages are one-tenth that of Americans. And they don't get health care like they should, and they work in unsafe and deplorable conditions, including getting killed -- all things that shouldn't be accepted anywhere. In fact, until countries provide health care and safe working conditions, companies should be forbidden to do business with them, regardless of what the consumer demands.
And what about young adult internships. All unpaid internships must be criminalized. It's merely a nice term for slavery and patently unjust and unfair. We have a minimum wage for a reason. I agree its not perfect. Its unfair because everyone, McDonald's drive-thru window order taker like my son Jesse in high school, or clerk typist typing 40 wpm, or retail clerk, or gas station attendant, all get the same minimum wages. Unfair.
The guild system recognized different levels of skills and talents, and so should we. But we shouldn't add corruption and "buying" a position like the guilders did. Maybe if unions changed their name to guilds there wouldn't be so much animosity towards them, or on the other extreme, fear of unreasonable demands and inflexibility. Unions serve a legitimate purpose and that is to balance workers rights with management rights, that's why we need fair labor laws and 100% independent Arbitration Boards with legally binding pronouncements. And these boards should be set up and run independently by the government and not paid for by corrupt companies, nor use up the life savings of an employee who loses a case.
Take "At Will" employees for example. How would you like to go to work knowing that if you didn't do what you were told, shady or not, you could be handed an empty cardboard box? That's why state workers have civil service and administrative law judges, for management to justify its actions. Nor on the other hand, should supervisors and managers be afraid to write up and fire unqualified, unproductive or lazy workers. Hey, somebody else could do terrifically at that job. No entitlements either.
So back to my point: everyone needs a certain amount of wealth -- a caring loving family, and a caring, nurturing society; health care; education; and a job leading hopefully to a career. Easy for me to say right? I had all those things right? Yes, by my mother's hard work, by chance, my hardwork, more chance, and more hardwork.
I'm a lucky one. And because I got lucky I want others to share in that luck if they can work hard and work good, whether with their caregivers, their teachers, their spouses or their bosses.
And then? You guessed it! Retirement in sunny Florida. I'm still in Jersey, still in the top ten most expensive states to live in (the Northeast is generally), but maybe we'll visit Disney World one of these days. That would be a nice bonus.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
The Joy of Having General Skills
By General Skills, I don't mean readin', writin' and 'rithmetic, altho they are most important. Besides those I mean carpentry skills, painting skills, plumbing skills, electrical skills, yard work skills etc. In other words what a guy or gal needs to know and do if they own a home. "Skills" may be pushing it for some, but at least knowledge of how things work, like electricity and plumbing for example.
If you are or have been a homeowner, you should recognize some of these skills -- in you. They're unavoidable the longer you own your home. As a homeowner I've been forced since 1976 to acquire all of these skills to some degree -- at least to be mediocre. Why? To save labor costs by not hiring a general contractor, or carpenter or plumber etc.
Doing it myself has just been matter-of-fact. Something needed work, so I looked it up in my 1977 Reader's Digest Complete Do-it-Yourself Manual (DIY), an invaluable guide to which I still refer. Not because it's written that well (altho it's close enough for government work), but because of the hand-drawn step-by-step illustrations. Simply invaluable.
Getting married was the beginning of life skills acquisition for me. Our rented bungalo in Hopewell Boro, with living room, bedroom, kitchen and bath, needed help. So Jan came up with the paint colors, which I agreed with readily, and we painted for a week. Jan chose a black and white motif for our bathroom, so she sewed the b & w curtains, and I installed the b & w self-stick floor tiles over the existing linoleum. But the kitchen needed special work. So we chose orange paint for the cabinets, and a b & w alternating tile pattern for the new linoeum, which I installed, adhesive and all, with only a few buckles.
The main thing I had going for me was that I wasn't afraid to try, and Janet was my encourager. The only other thing I had put together before then was my beloved car models when I was 13-15. Dad had never taught me any household skills, other than cleaning commodes, and swabbing and buffing floors, when we lived together for two years when I was 15-17. He and mom had divorced when I was four. My second dad, Ralph, hadn't taught me general skills either, since he worked long hours. So by the time I moved out when I was 18, I had no handyman skills to speak of.
But 1977 was the real beginning, for me, of the do-it-yourself phenomenon, now well established.Now we have self-help magazines and books on every possible topic, from building decks to making a Christmas wreaths for the front door (neither of which we've done, but we do have a wreath on the front door, and I would like a small deck off the bedroom).
My first home project, which was greatly added to by the expertise of my homeowner friend and coworker Joe Weeast, was to tear down a nasty living room wall, replace it with sheet rock, tape it, prime it, and cover it with foresty wallpaper full of tall ferns. The wall was 9 feet tall and 12 feet long. At least it wasn't all four walls, or I wouldn't have attempted it. The demolition of the lathe and plaster was tedious but straightforward. I do well with demolition, the easiest part.
Joe had a truck, so we loaded it with four sheets of half inch sheet rock from Hamilton Supply, and hung it up on a weekend. All this time I was trying to remember each step, each measurement, every nail hammered, in my head. (It was the days before screws were used for sheet rock installation.) Joe showed me how to lay spackling tape and joint compound for the seems. Then it was sanding and painting a prime coat, before Janet and I got busy hanging the green wallpaper. Janet had also read up on how to hang it, as had I, so after snapping chalk lines, we got it done in a three or so hours. Our first of many, many, home projects.
And at the end of the project we had new tools: the paste, tray, brush, roller etc. for the wallpaper (used again later), more paint to prime the rest of the smoke-covered, stinky walls; a plumb bob (which I still have); a small jig-saw to go with my circular saw which Jan had bought me, from Sears, and sawhorses to lay the sheet rock on and cut out the one foot wide lengths for the top of the wall.
That was the start of my home tool collection. When we moved to our second home in 1979, we added yard tools like rakes, brooms, tree saws, hand saws, a sit-down Murray lawnmower, and much more. All left by Bill & Cathy Cross, the sellers, whom we are still in touch with today. Us from their old home and them from a large RV somewhere in Arizona.
And that brings us to the importance of homeowner tools. More expensive tools like the electric circular saw, jig-saw, and sander are mandatory in my opinion (we'll keep yard tools out of this for the moment - that's a whole other category). A plumber's wrench, duck tape, plumber's putty, all sizes and types of washers from metal to rubber, wrenches, screwdrivers large and small (mine range from 3" to 12"), and screws and nails of every type and size, together with storage shelves for all the paint cans, are all necessities in my opinion. And this is not nearly what I've acquired over more than 30 years, believe me.
By 1979 when we sold our first home on Nottingham Way, I had built glass and wood end tables and matching coffee table, and large (6' tall, 5' wide) portable self-standing shelves. Both ideas Janet found in Apartment Life Magazine which we loved -- now long out of print. But many more have replaced it, along with all the shows on HGTV for example.
So we are in an age of DIY and its time to get with the times.
As a homeowner, I'm finally getting comfortable with that.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
If you are or have been a homeowner, you should recognize some of these skills -- in you. They're unavoidable the longer you own your home. As a homeowner I've been forced since 1976 to acquire all of these skills to some degree -- at least to be mediocre. Why? To save labor costs by not hiring a general contractor, or carpenter or plumber etc.
Doing it myself has just been matter-of-fact. Something needed work, so I looked it up in my 1977 Reader's Digest Complete Do-it-Yourself Manual (DIY), an invaluable guide to which I still refer. Not because it's written that well (altho it's close enough for government work), but because of the hand-drawn step-by-step illustrations. Simply invaluable.
Getting married was the beginning of life skills acquisition for me. Our rented bungalo in Hopewell Boro, with living room, bedroom, kitchen and bath, needed help. So Jan came up with the paint colors, which I agreed with readily, and we painted for a week. Jan chose a black and white motif for our bathroom, so she sewed the b & w curtains, and I installed the b & w self-stick floor tiles over the existing linoleum. But the kitchen needed special work. So we chose orange paint for the cabinets, and a b & w alternating tile pattern for the new linoeum, which I installed, adhesive and all, with only a few buckles.
The main thing I had going for me was that I wasn't afraid to try, and Janet was my encourager. The only other thing I had put together before then was my beloved car models when I was 13-15. Dad had never taught me any household skills, other than cleaning commodes, and swabbing and buffing floors, when we lived together for two years when I was 15-17. He and mom had divorced when I was four. My second dad, Ralph, hadn't taught me general skills either, since he worked long hours. So by the time I moved out when I was 18, I had no handyman skills to speak of.
But 1977 was the real beginning, for me, of the do-it-yourself phenomenon, now well established.Now we have self-help magazines and books on every possible topic, from building decks to making a Christmas wreaths for the front door (neither of which we've done, but we do have a wreath on the front door, and I would like a small deck off the bedroom).
My first home project, which was greatly added to by the expertise of my homeowner friend and coworker Joe Weeast, was to tear down a nasty living room wall, replace it with sheet rock, tape it, prime it, and cover it with foresty wallpaper full of tall ferns. The wall was 9 feet tall and 12 feet long. At least it wasn't all four walls, or I wouldn't have attempted it. The demolition of the lathe and plaster was tedious but straightforward. I do well with demolition, the easiest part.
Joe had a truck, so we loaded it with four sheets of half inch sheet rock from Hamilton Supply, and hung it up on a weekend. All this time I was trying to remember each step, each measurement, every nail hammered, in my head. (It was the days before screws were used for sheet rock installation.) Joe showed me how to lay spackling tape and joint compound for the seems. Then it was sanding and painting a prime coat, before Janet and I got busy hanging the green wallpaper. Janet had also read up on how to hang it, as had I, so after snapping chalk lines, we got it done in a three or so hours. Our first of many, many, home projects.
And at the end of the project we had new tools: the paste, tray, brush, roller etc. for the wallpaper (used again later), more paint to prime the rest of the smoke-covered, stinky walls; a plumb bob (which I still have); a small jig-saw to go with my circular saw which Jan had bought me, from Sears, and sawhorses to lay the sheet rock on and cut out the one foot wide lengths for the top of the wall.
That was the start of my home tool collection. When we moved to our second home in 1979, we added yard tools like rakes, brooms, tree saws, hand saws, a sit-down Murray lawnmower, and much more. All left by Bill & Cathy Cross, the sellers, whom we are still in touch with today. Us from their old home and them from a large RV somewhere in Arizona.
And that brings us to the importance of homeowner tools. More expensive tools like the electric circular saw, jig-saw, and sander are mandatory in my opinion (we'll keep yard tools out of this for the moment - that's a whole other category). A plumber's wrench, duck tape, plumber's putty, all sizes and types of washers from metal to rubber, wrenches, screwdrivers large and small (mine range from 3" to 12"), and screws and nails of every type and size, together with storage shelves for all the paint cans, are all necessities in my opinion. And this is not nearly what I've acquired over more than 30 years, believe me.
By 1979 when we sold our first home on Nottingham Way, I had built glass and wood end tables and matching coffee table, and large (6' tall, 5' wide) portable self-standing shelves. Both ideas Janet found in Apartment Life Magazine which we loved -- now long out of print. But many more have replaced it, along with all the shows on HGTV for example.
So we are in an age of DIY and its time to get with the times.
As a homeowner, I'm finally getting comfortable with that.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
The Joy of Grandparenting
"We're going to see our grandbaby!" Janet said for the sixth time -- to perfect strangers. First at Dunkin for our tea and coffee just starting out for the hospital. Second at the rest stop on the turnpike when we got gas. Third to the runner on 1st Avenue in Manhattan whom we had stopped to ask where the NYU Medical Center was. Fourth to the guards at the hospital information desk for directions to the maternity ward. Fifth to the nurse on the elevator with us, and sixth on the maternity ward itself, when we asked for our son Jesse and daughter-in-law Rachel's room number.
And what a perfect little girl she was! Rachel had delivered beautifully, naturally, so no bright red cone head like my son Jesse had had after Janet's pushing for over 24 hours. Little Sienna Rose, less than an hour old, was quiet and in Rachel's arms sleeping peacefully when we first saw her. A bundle swathed in a white blanket with yellow ducks on it, a tiny bundle of joy (and future heartache if you've been or are a parent). It was one day past the Ides of March, 2013.
Now it was 2 pm, on the Ides of March three months later. Jesse and Rachel were scrambling getting dressed to go to Rachel's friends wedding at the Botanical Gardens. Janet had gotten to their apartment earlier, and our mission was to care for Sienna. They trusted us! Janet had already made numerous trips up, and I had too on three other occasions, but this was a real test. Would the grandparents do well with a very active and alert baby? Sienna was already holding her head up strongly to see herself in the changing stand mirror, and had also turned over from stomach to back. But when she was hungry she could not be consoled except for her mommy's milk. The kids had recently introduced bottles with that milk, and Sienna always gulped greedily. Would three bottles be enough while they were gone?
That and other questions and concerns crossed our minds and I'm sure Jesse and Rachel's as well. We got their directions: "When she gets fussy - making sounds and waving her arms and kicking, swaddle her first to see if that calms her down. She always fusses before napping. Or, she could be hungry."
Janet had already figured this out, from her prior visits, so was well prepared. The kids left on their adventure at 2:30 just as Sienna went to her crib to nap. That would last a half hour. I finished my Dunkin coffee from the nearby shop, and was reading The Week when she woke up. Janet was all over her like a bee on a flower. After checking her diaper (dry), swaddling and rocking her in her arms while standing, it was obvious Sienna needed a bottle. Janet gave her to me while she warmed the milk, then Jan sat in the rocking chair while Sienna supped.
A calm Sienna resulted, now wide awake and alert, and looking long at us and reacting to our voices, sometimes happily, which brought us great joy.
We decided to go on an adventure and take her out in her stroller. This was fairly new to her, and as we got outside on this sunny, warm Saturday afternoon, Sienna seemed to love it. Well, she didn't smile at every tree we passed, but her eyes focused on everything. She didn't even need her Nuk.
And Stuyvesant Town park was alive with activity! Full basketball courts with teams of 3 -5 playing, the water spray tested by a one year old, and at the big oval park we came across the children's fair. A hundred children and parents were enjoying the hot-air fun houses and slides, getting free balloon figures from the balloon lady, and the live band was playing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and and round . . . ." Amidst this cacophony of sound Sienna was as peaceful as could be, nodding off for almost an hour.
The rest of the day, evening, and into the late night went swimmingly. Our good friends Martha and Faramarz stopped by on their way home from visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and we had take-out dinner with them from the Belgium restaurant Petite Abeille a block away. Martha and Faramarz were pleased to see Sienna, even got a smile or two, and she was also well behaved -- always a concern when guests are present. Parents know the feeling well, especially when children are acting like we want them to.
So it was out in the stroller again to walk our friends to their cab, then stroll around the park-like setting once more. This time we sat on a wooden bench in the large plaza, where Sienna watched the towering, 20 foot high water jets for quite a while.
Back to the apartment for feeding and sleeping (and a little fussing before that bottle descended), and the night was over -- the kids were home by 10:30. A long day, a long test of our grandparenting prowess (98% Janet's), and happy smiles all around.
Of course, we learned one lesson -- always leave our cell phones on so the parents can get a hold of us easily. This miffed Jesse to no end, even tho we had sent text updates and pictures of our progress that day.
Otherwise, I think we passed our first big test as grandparents, and what a joy it was.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
And what a perfect little girl she was! Rachel had delivered beautifully, naturally, so no bright red cone head like my son Jesse had had after Janet's pushing for over 24 hours. Little Sienna Rose, less than an hour old, was quiet and in Rachel's arms sleeping peacefully when we first saw her. A bundle swathed in a white blanket with yellow ducks on it, a tiny bundle of joy (and future heartache if you've been or are a parent). It was one day past the Ides of March, 2013.
Now it was 2 pm, on the Ides of March three months later. Jesse and Rachel were scrambling getting dressed to go to Rachel's friends wedding at the Botanical Gardens. Janet had gotten to their apartment earlier, and our mission was to care for Sienna. They trusted us! Janet had already made numerous trips up, and I had too on three other occasions, but this was a real test. Would the grandparents do well with a very active and alert baby? Sienna was already holding her head up strongly to see herself in the changing stand mirror, and had also turned over from stomach to back. But when she was hungry she could not be consoled except for her mommy's milk. The kids had recently introduced bottles with that milk, and Sienna always gulped greedily. Would three bottles be enough while they were gone?
That and other questions and concerns crossed our minds and I'm sure Jesse and Rachel's as well. We got their directions: "When she gets fussy - making sounds and waving her arms and kicking, swaddle her first to see if that calms her down. She always fusses before napping. Or, she could be hungry."
Janet had already figured this out, from her prior visits, so was well prepared. The kids left on their adventure at 2:30 just as Sienna went to her crib to nap. That would last a half hour. I finished my Dunkin coffee from the nearby shop, and was reading The Week when she woke up. Janet was all over her like a bee on a flower. After checking her diaper (dry), swaddling and rocking her in her arms while standing, it was obvious Sienna needed a bottle. Janet gave her to me while she warmed the milk, then Jan sat in the rocking chair while Sienna supped.
A calm Sienna resulted, now wide awake and alert, and looking long at us and reacting to our voices, sometimes happily, which brought us great joy.
We decided to go on an adventure and take her out in her stroller. This was fairly new to her, and as we got outside on this sunny, warm Saturday afternoon, Sienna seemed to love it. Well, she didn't smile at every tree we passed, but her eyes focused on everything. She didn't even need her Nuk.
And Stuyvesant Town park was alive with activity! Full basketball courts with teams of 3 -5 playing, the water spray tested by a one year old, and at the big oval park we came across the children's fair. A hundred children and parents were enjoying the hot-air fun houses and slides, getting free balloon figures from the balloon lady, and the live band was playing "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and and round . . . ." Amidst this cacophony of sound Sienna was as peaceful as could be, nodding off for almost an hour.
The rest of the day, evening, and into the late night went swimmingly. Our good friends Martha and Faramarz stopped by on their way home from visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art, and we had take-out dinner with them from the Belgium restaurant Petite Abeille a block away. Martha and Faramarz were pleased to see Sienna, even got a smile or two, and she was also well behaved -- always a concern when guests are present. Parents know the feeling well, especially when children are acting like we want them to.
So it was out in the stroller again to walk our friends to their cab, then stroll around the park-like setting once more. This time we sat on a wooden bench in the large plaza, where Sienna watched the towering, 20 foot high water jets for quite a while.
Back to the apartment for feeding and sleeping (and a little fussing before that bottle descended), and the night was over -- the kids were home by 10:30. A long day, a long test of our grandparenting prowess (98% Janet's), and happy smiles all around.
Of course, we learned one lesson -- always leave our cell phones on so the parents can get a hold of us easily. This miffed Jesse to no end, even tho we had sent text updates and pictures of our progress that day.
Otherwise, I think we passed our first big test as grandparents, and what a joy it was.
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Joy of Happy Birthday
"Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday dear ______,
Happy birthday to you!"
Iconic, right? Everyone knows and sings this song. In fact, it is the most recognized song in the English language. (Wikipedia) We hear it sung from the time we are one year old. It doesn't just make us happy to hear it, but also to sing it. And we sing it a lot. In my family, its at least 3 or 4 times a year, and it was many times more when the Richards and Daloisio kids were under the age of sixteen. Even now, at age 63, I may hear that song sung to me, and it makes me very happy.
But guess what? Every time we sing it or play it, we should be paying a royalty, a fee, to the Warner/Chappell company, until their copyright expires in the U.S. in 2030. In the European Union, the copyright expires in 2016. To be used in a U.S. movie, the company charges up to $10,000, just to give you an idea of how much it costs to license it. (Wikipedia)
I went on their website to find out how much it might cost me to license Happy Birthday to You to sing to my daughter this upcoming June 22nd. What a mess! They are one of the largest licensors of music in the world! When I searched on "Happy Birthday" it came up with many published song versions ranging from 15 seconds to 2.33 minutes long. There was no sign-up or sign-in for an individual; only for companies. So I'm sad to say I can't tell how much it would cost you to sing "Happy Birthday to You" to your new grandson, granddaughter or loved one. Technically however? They want you to pay something for the right to use it. To pay for a license in other words.
Bah! Heck if I'm going to pay them! How will they know if we sing it to my daughter Kate? Do they have license spys like the BSA does for software copyright infringement? Actually, the BSA has a website to report such infringement anonymously. Anonymously! So I found that site, where I could report illegal activity, and then, curious, I went to the BSA website itself. For the life of me, after tooling around it, I can't tell you what "BSA" stands for. Maybe "Bad Software Agency?" or "Beware Software Acquisition?" I don't know. But they also call themselves the Software Alliance.
I became intimately aware of the Software Alliance circa 2003 when I worked on a deal for the State of New Jersey to buy Microsoft licenses for Windows products to go on the tens of thousands of new IBM-compatible PCs the State was able to buy. Same principal as Happy Birthday to You. Want to use the software? Then of course you must pay for it. That's only fair. And the software industry had a long history of selling licenses for individuals or companies to either "buy" or lease their software products. I'd been involved with doing just that since 1980, so was very familiar with the game. And yes, I use to actually buy the software, before it all became lease rights only.
But the Software Alliance, a consortium of big and small companies, who paid for license police, was new to me back then. So at that time I looked into them a little, not that the State had any problem, because we always paid openly for our licenses. I discovered that the BSA issued heavy fines and penalties for infringement (tens-of-thousands, or hundreds-of-thousands of dollars). What I further discovered was the labyrinthine requirements to keep track of all those licenses, i.e. when they were transferred to a different PC/User, or added to, or temporarily discontinued. This was a huge area of responsibility on our part, on anybody's part, to keep track of such things. And if you didn't? If you were somehow using licenses that you weren't paying maintenance on? Then the BSA police could and would come and fine you. Especially if someone reported your infraction "anonymously." That's why small start-up companies were popping up with software programs (like Excel spreadsheets), to keep track of all your licenses. In either event, a lot of manual effort was required, despite the automation aspects of the tracking software.
And believe me folks, the BSA will fine YOU for unpaid software you're using on your PC! If they do find out, you must pay back maintenance and or the purchase price, which adds up quickly.
My point? Watch out for the Happy Birthday to You police, because they would win in a court of law. There are attempts going on to negate this silly copyright that was first granted in 1935, but for now, we're all vulnerable. My personal opinion is that since Warner/Chappell is doing so well, they should release the copyright to Happy Birthday to You right now, as a gesture of good will. Of course, this means revenue lost, but maybe the IRS will give them a credit for unearned income or something? Or, they could certainly write it off as Good Will.
Oh, by the way, "Happy Birthday to you" is a registered trademark. I just want to say that less I'm sued for not saying so. My computer, I mean Blogger, won't let me add the copyright and trademark symbols or I would, for my own protection, so I'm taking a chance sharing this info with you. Think of me when I advertise my defense fund on Kickstarter, please.
So if you must sing Happy Birthday to You, better have your family members and guests sign a Confidentiality Agreement to protect yourself.
Just a word to the wise. And by the way -- Happy Birthday to You!
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Happy birthday dear ______,
Happy birthday to you!"
Iconic, right? Everyone knows and sings this song. In fact, it is the most recognized song in the English language. (Wikipedia) We hear it sung from the time we are one year old. It doesn't just make us happy to hear it, but also to sing it. And we sing it a lot. In my family, its at least 3 or 4 times a year, and it was many times more when the Richards and Daloisio kids were under the age of sixteen. Even now, at age 63, I may hear that song sung to me, and it makes me very happy.
But guess what? Every time we sing it or play it, we should be paying a royalty, a fee, to the Warner/Chappell company, until their copyright expires in the U.S. in 2030. In the European Union, the copyright expires in 2016. To be used in a U.S. movie, the company charges up to $10,000, just to give you an idea of how much it costs to license it. (Wikipedia)
I went on their website to find out how much it might cost me to license Happy Birthday to You to sing to my daughter this upcoming June 22nd. What a mess! They are one of the largest licensors of music in the world! When I searched on "Happy Birthday" it came up with many published song versions ranging from 15 seconds to 2.33 minutes long. There was no sign-up or sign-in for an individual; only for companies. So I'm sad to say I can't tell how much it would cost you to sing "Happy Birthday to You" to your new grandson, granddaughter or loved one. Technically however? They want you to pay something for the right to use it. To pay for a license in other words.
Bah! Heck if I'm going to pay them! How will they know if we sing it to my daughter Kate? Do they have license spys like the BSA does for software copyright infringement? Actually, the BSA has a website to report such infringement anonymously. Anonymously! So I found that site, where I could report illegal activity, and then, curious, I went to the BSA website itself. For the life of me, after tooling around it, I can't tell you what "BSA" stands for. Maybe "Bad Software Agency?" or "Beware Software Acquisition?" I don't know. But they also call themselves the Software Alliance.
I became intimately aware of the Software Alliance circa 2003 when I worked on a deal for the State of New Jersey to buy Microsoft licenses for Windows products to go on the tens of thousands of new IBM-compatible PCs the State was able to buy. Same principal as Happy Birthday to You. Want to use the software? Then of course you must pay for it. That's only fair. And the software industry had a long history of selling licenses for individuals or companies to either "buy" or lease their software products. I'd been involved with doing just that since 1980, so was very familiar with the game. And yes, I use to actually buy the software, before it all became lease rights only.
But the Software Alliance, a consortium of big and small companies, who paid for license police, was new to me back then. So at that time I looked into them a little, not that the State had any problem, because we always paid openly for our licenses. I discovered that the BSA issued heavy fines and penalties for infringement (tens-of-thousands, or hundreds-of-thousands of dollars). What I further discovered was the labyrinthine requirements to keep track of all those licenses, i.e. when they were transferred to a different PC/User, or added to, or temporarily discontinued. This was a huge area of responsibility on our part, on anybody's part, to keep track of such things. And if you didn't? If you were somehow using licenses that you weren't paying maintenance on? Then the BSA police could and would come and fine you. Especially if someone reported your infraction "anonymously." That's why small start-up companies were popping up with software programs (like Excel spreadsheets), to keep track of all your licenses. In either event, a lot of manual effort was required, despite the automation aspects of the tracking software.
And believe me folks, the BSA will fine YOU for unpaid software you're using on your PC! If they do find out, you must pay back maintenance and or the purchase price, which adds up quickly.
My point? Watch out for the Happy Birthday to You police, because they would win in a court of law. There are attempts going on to negate this silly copyright that was first granted in 1935, but for now, we're all vulnerable. My personal opinion is that since Warner/Chappell is doing so well, they should release the copyright to Happy Birthday to You right now, as a gesture of good will. Of course, this means revenue lost, but maybe the IRS will give them a credit for unearned income or something? Or, they could certainly write it off as Good Will.
Oh, by the way, "Happy Birthday to you" is a registered trademark. I just want to say that less I'm sued for not saying so. My computer, I mean Blogger, won't let me add the copyright and trademark symbols or I would, for my own protection, so I'm taking a chance sharing this info with you. Think of me when I advertise my defense fund on Kickstarter, please.
So if you must sing Happy Birthday to You, better have your family members and guests sign a Confidentiality Agreement to protect yourself.
Just a word to the wise. And by the way -- Happy Birthday to You!
By Rodney Richards, NJ
Saturday, June 15, 2013
The Joy of Being Caught Up
I know, most of us never get caught up, right? There's always something new (or old) vying for our attention, whether its a bill to be paid, a car that won't start (as my Civic died recently on its five-year old battery), or I have to return an overdue library book (my fine was $6.70 - I had mistakenly put the book on my bookshelf). Always something.
But isn't that just like life? To always keep us guessing what will happen next? How dull and boring if there were no surprises, whether a test of wills or a small joy.
That's why I was so surprised yesterday when Janet said to me, "Rod, you're all caught up!" I don't recall Janet ever saying those words to me before. Praise for performing tasks, always. But caught up? And I had only done what I do every day: Get up by 4 a.m., buy my Dunkin coffee with my Dunkin debit card (a great gift by the way), get back home and start writing on the computer, or editing my book, or checking my four email addresses. But I had noticed Janet's list for me that morning. Never a long list, just three or four items, but between my lists and hers, I always have some things to do every day.
When I worked for the State of New Jersey (39 years), I made lists for myself also. I started making them circa 1982, when I was tasked with showing the 16 mm movie "How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life," which was based on a popular book written in 1973 by Allan Lakein, a management guru. I had to show that movie in small sessions to about 40 of our division personnel, so I became intimately familiar with its precepts. One was, you guessed it, making those lists. Two was dividing all tasks, daily mail and other items, into three categories: Priorities (do first, even if a little bit at a time), Need to Do's (must get done, but with a longer time to complete), and Trash. The goal was to look at each item only once, and do something with it at that moment - don't stick it somewhere to do later. Don't look at a piece of writing more than once. (Perhaps that's why I hate repetitive speakers so much?)
Needless to say, my work habits improved dramatically. That and being married to the most organized person I ever met, taught me tremendous organizational skills. Although I never caught up in the sense that I had nothing to do for long, I wasn't swamped. Ever. And I must say, we executed well a heavy load of projects at work. That's why when my bipolar episodes hit, they were such a shock. Stress, except for my first episode, has not usually been my main trigger. Lack of sleep, not taking my meds or self-medicating, have been. However, I have always self-medicated with at least five medium hot coffees every day. I'm so used to them now, after forty-five years, that they can hardly be called a stimulant. That and smoking have been my worse habits.
At home it was easier, what with Janet's short list of To Do's and reminders of things coming up. Our calendar became our planning guide. I even wrote my own lists once in a while, although, I must say, I never, not once, wrote a list of To Do's for Janet. Doctor's appointment? Write it on the calendar. Date and time for the monthly Baha'i Feast gathering? Mark it on the calendar, and so on. It was therefore easy from an early time in our lives together, to be on time to meetings and events, in fact, a few minutes early. I was hardly ever late to appointments; never if Janet and I were together, and I forgot none - unless I didn't write them down. Or, forgot to see the note they were written on. That's why I have appreciated Janet's reminders, even though I grouse about them occasionally
On this particular day, I had grabbed Janet's list from the kitchen counter and began crossing things off. This probably brings Janet as much joy, crossing tasks off lists, as visiting our kids now that they're grown. And today's list had only three things on it: Call my annuity company and withdraw what I could without penalty and invest it with higher returns elsewhere, Order Gift Cards from our credit card rewards program with our accumulated points, and Finish cutting back the row of fifteen foot tall lilacs ringing our back yard - no small task considering they were all 6-10 feet wide and extended 150 feet. I had already spent three days working on them.
So when I came in the kitchen yesterday afternoon after finishing the lilacs, getting the annuity information and printing a receipt for the ordered gift cards, Janet was pleased. And of course, when Janet is pleased, I am pleased. Not just pleased, but happy. Happy not just because I pleased her, but happy I got to throw that particular list away to await another on another day.
Bottom line: a list for us is a challenge to be conquered, a task to be overcome and completed. It is not a chore. It is not a drudge. It's just another small challenge in life.
How do you meet your challenges? How do you get caught up?
By Rodney Richards, NJ
But isn't that just like life? To always keep us guessing what will happen next? How dull and boring if there were no surprises, whether a test of wills or a small joy.
That's why I was so surprised yesterday when Janet said to me, "Rod, you're all caught up!" I don't recall Janet ever saying those words to me before. Praise for performing tasks, always. But caught up? And I had only done what I do every day: Get up by 4 a.m., buy my Dunkin coffee with my Dunkin debit card (a great gift by the way), get back home and start writing on the computer, or editing my book, or checking my four email addresses. But I had noticed Janet's list for me that morning. Never a long list, just three or four items, but between my lists and hers, I always have some things to do every day.
When I worked for the State of New Jersey (39 years), I made lists for myself also. I started making them circa 1982, when I was tasked with showing the 16 mm movie "How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life," which was based on a popular book written in 1973 by Allan Lakein, a management guru. I had to show that movie in small sessions to about 40 of our division personnel, so I became intimately familiar with its precepts. One was, you guessed it, making those lists. Two was dividing all tasks, daily mail and other items, into three categories: Priorities (do first, even if a little bit at a time), Need to Do's (must get done, but with a longer time to complete), and Trash. The goal was to look at each item only once, and do something with it at that moment - don't stick it somewhere to do later. Don't look at a piece of writing more than once. (Perhaps that's why I hate repetitive speakers so much?)
Needless to say, my work habits improved dramatically. That and being married to the most organized person I ever met, taught me tremendous organizational skills. Although I never caught up in the sense that I had nothing to do for long, I wasn't swamped. Ever. And I must say, we executed well a heavy load of projects at work. That's why when my bipolar episodes hit, they were such a shock. Stress, except for my first episode, has not usually been my main trigger. Lack of sleep, not taking my meds or self-medicating, have been. However, I have always self-medicated with at least five medium hot coffees every day. I'm so used to them now, after forty-five years, that they can hardly be called a stimulant. That and smoking have been my worse habits.
At home it was easier, what with Janet's short list of To Do's and reminders of things coming up. Our calendar became our planning guide. I even wrote my own lists once in a while, although, I must say, I never, not once, wrote a list of To Do's for Janet. Doctor's appointment? Write it on the calendar. Date and time for the monthly Baha'i Feast gathering? Mark it on the calendar, and so on. It was therefore easy from an early time in our lives together, to be on time to meetings and events, in fact, a few minutes early. I was hardly ever late to appointments; never if Janet and I were together, and I forgot none - unless I didn't write them down. Or, forgot to see the note they were written on. That's why I have appreciated Janet's reminders, even though I grouse about them occasionally
On this particular day, I had grabbed Janet's list from the kitchen counter and began crossing things off. This probably brings Janet as much joy, crossing tasks off lists, as visiting our kids now that they're grown. And today's list had only three things on it: Call my annuity company and withdraw what I could without penalty and invest it with higher returns elsewhere, Order Gift Cards from our credit card rewards program with our accumulated points, and Finish cutting back the row of fifteen foot tall lilacs ringing our back yard - no small task considering they were all 6-10 feet wide and extended 150 feet. I had already spent three days working on them.
So when I came in the kitchen yesterday afternoon after finishing the lilacs, getting the annuity information and printing a receipt for the ordered gift cards, Janet was pleased. And of course, when Janet is pleased, I am pleased. Not just pleased, but happy. Happy not just because I pleased her, but happy I got to throw that particular list away to await another on another day.
Bottom line: a list for us is a challenge to be conquered, a task to be overcome and completed. It is not a chore. It is not a drudge. It's just another small challenge in life.
How do you meet your challenges? How do you get caught up?
By Rodney Richards, NJ
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