The Joy of Being "Mentally Stable"

In my last blog, The Joy of Being Mentally Challenged, I talked about the difference between being 100% mentally ill and something less than that. For me and my bipolar episodes and behaviors, just for fun, I estimated that they consumed 12% of my bipolar life from 1963 to 1996, and that the other 88% of the time I was mostly "mentally stable."

Let's talk a little about being "mentally stable." That may be all we bipolars can attain to versus "normal," but let's explore this a little bit.

"Mentally stable," to me, means not spending over $3,000 flying to Tel Aviv and roaming Israel for three days by disappearing from work in the middle of the day and driving to Newark Airport. It means not spouting the most foul language at an innocent bystander who's done nothing wrong. It means not thinking that I could buy my cousin's gas station and garage on a whim. It means not pointing my car at a telephone pole going 60 miles an hour. And, it means not believing I was the return of Christ come to save mankind from its ills. I could go on.

And my experiences were mild compared to hundreds of thousands of other bipolars.

So I have firsthand knowledge of a standard of "normal" versus "mentally ill." The Road Less Travelled if you will. That normal essentially means moderation in my pursuits and behaviors, and avoiding extremes of mania, depression and moodiness. I wish I could say I was balanced, but that may be going to far, since I would classify myself as a progressive thinker in most instances. But of course that's always relative to someone else's point-of-view and their words and actions.

nor·mal  /ˈnôrməl/

Adjective Conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

Noun The usual, average, or typical state or condition.

Synonyms adjective.   regular - standard - ordinary - common - usual noun.   normality - normalcy - perpendicular

Perpendicular? Oh well, every definition isn't perfect....

For me, this definition of normal means something more practical than "conforming to a standard," which could be anything. No, to me normal means adhering to social norms. I'm an American. I grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance every day. So "social norms" means I can drive where I want to (with a valid license), eat what I want to (if I can pay for it and have clothes that fit), wear what I want to (if I'm not concerned with looking foolish), say what I want to (except for yelling "Fire!" in a crowded movie theater)  etc. etc. In other words, there's limits. I don't have unfettered liberty or freedom. 

When I'm in a bipolar episode there are no limits, of any kind, to what I will say or do. It's only by the grace of God that I don't kill myself or someone else, yet both have happened with bipolars. It's estimated that 30% of bipolar people who go untreated commit suicide. That is the definition of mental instability as opposed to mental stability. 

So true liberty consists in being mentally stable (acknowledging reason), adhering to social norms, and more importantly, having a good heart. This last is my own addition, but an important one. Without it, I would have already killed myself or possibly someone else. Having a good heart means that even while in the middle of having a bipolar episode I don't hurt myself or others physically, at a minimum. That's still a wide gap between hurting someone at all, either verbally or spiritually.

I'm still working on closing that gap. And as social norms become more infused with the qualities and attributes of God, such as the ever-increasing number of practiced virtues and moral values, it becomes easier to close that gap. After all, besides our parents the most important influence on someone's life is their peers - friends, neighbors, coworkers etc. 

So chose your friends, and your job, and your residence carefully if you can. That's why, for every child, youth and adult, wealth is needed.

By Rodney Richards, NJ