The Joy of Being "Mentally Challenged"

I don't like the label "mentally ill." Never have. I don't accept it, altho I am, and have had three severe episodes of bipolar disorder to prove it, ending up in three month-long hospital stays. But I'm not mentally ill.

I'm intelligent (or can be), personable (usually), kind (generally), generous (sometimes), and overall, not a bad guy according to my friends. I only used physical violence once on Janet, which should have been never I agree, but we worked thru it and it never happened again. We've been married 42 years so far. The verbal assaults? Yes, we both have to work on that at times, but generally they're out of frustration with each others actions (or non-actions on my part), and not hatred.

I like "mentally challenged" better. Mentally ill sounds like a 100% condition. Being bipolar is not a 100% condition. There's only up or manic for me, and very few down, or depressed cycles -- luckily. Since we first discovered I was bipolar in October 1979, until my last episode in 1996, they have been unpredictable. But not 100%.

Let me give you some data. My poor, un-normal, sporadic juvenile delinquent behavior started when I was 13. I calmed down quite a bit after meeting Janet in 1967. so you could say four years of hypo-mania off and on. Say those bad behaviors, all together, totaled six months. Then my three episodes and two near-episodes, lasting say another ten months, what with the lesser manic (i.e. moody, hypo-manic and depressed), periods before and after. Total mania etc. equals sixteen months since I was 13. I've been completely stable since 1996, or when I was 46. So from 1963 to 1996, that's thirty-three years or 396 months. 16/396= 88% "normal," and 12% un-normal. So you see, I'm not 100% bipolar, at least my behavior hasn't been. However, Janet may certainly disagree with my 12% number.

This doesn't count my personal foibles, like a serious listening problem resulting in forgetfulness 30 seconds after being told something, or lying, a mastered trait since I was young, or a large degree of detachment, i.e. lack of empathy/sympathy, and others. Could those be considered within the normal range of human behavior? Maybe my white lies?  Well, we don't have any standard of scientific normalcy, unless in my case, you mean not breaking the law.

But, technically, without my successful medications regimen, I could explode at any time. That's true. But with meds management, that hasn't happened to me in seventeen years. Seventeen years! Yes, its still cause to look over my shoulder, the possibility that is, and Janet is always aware of it, having coped with my five terrible episodes, one taking me halfway around the world. But, could is different than will. 

I also mean not 100% mentally ill in a certain way. Yes, once bipolar, always bipolar, I don't dispute that. There is no cure for bipolar. In fact, NAMI says 30% of untreated bipolar Americans commit suicide. That's more deaths than the number of yearly auto accidents in the U.S. But there's a lot of reasons for uncontrolled mental illness.

One, is not having universal mental health care. That's the number one reason, in my opinion, that there's so many deaths, injuries and hurts from mental illness of any kind. A hospital is better than jail, which, just like me, is usually the first stop during a full manic episode. 

And there's hundreds of kinds of mental illness. Some health care CEOs are already expanding their psych centers (like UHS's Alan Miller).  Obamacare calls for universal mental health coverage as part of it, BUT it's up to the states to determine how much they implement, so that means it could still result in what we have today -- little state provided coverage, only private. Have you ever gone to talk to a psychiatrist for an hour and gotten an anti-psychotic prescription? The going rate is $225 an hour for the psych visit, plus the meds cost. My Wellbutrin used to cost over $200 per script. Twice what they s/b I agree, but who can afford either on a regular basis without insurance coverage?

Two, the meds are there. We have enough kinds now to help most mentally "challenged" children, youth and adults. I've read as many as 70% can be helped with existing anticonvulsants, anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. This despite the so-called faults of DSM-V. But, you need constant help from the psychiatrist to figure out exactly what meds work best. So back to number One.

And even with that, sometimes round-the-clock care facilities are needed, even if just for a month or two or three to get stable, as in my cases. That's reason Three. That includes having a very close caregiver like a mate/spouse or parent/parents to help and support the bipolar youth or adult on a steady, reliable basis.

Four, as in every issue, is education of the public and those who are mentally challenged in recognizing the symptoms and getting proper help. That's the same with every issue, and could be number One. Part of that education is the government's job at all its levels, i.e. caring for its citizens; part is the health care professionals job, and the health care industry's; and part is continuing research funding. All are needed.

So myself and millions of other bipolars, as many as 5.7 million according to NIMH -- right now -- are not 100% mentally ill. We are mentally challenged. Our goal is to be "mentally stable." But even DSM-V in all its prowess, can't describe, and doesn't describe, what "normal" is.

Can you?