The Joy of Being Caught Up

I know, most of us never get caught up, right? There's always something new (or old) vying for our attention, whether its a bill to be paid, a car that won't start (as my Civic died recently on its five-year old battery), or I have to return an overdue library book (my fine was $6.70 - I had mistakenly put the book on my bookshelf). Always something.

But isn't that just like life? To always keep us guessing what will happen next? How dull and boring if there were no surprises, whether a test of wills or a small joy.

That's why I was so surprised yesterday when Janet said to me, "Rod, you're all caught up!" I don't recall Janet ever saying those words to me before. Praise for performing tasks, always. But caught up? And I had only done what I do every day: Get up by 4 a.m., buy my Dunkin coffee with my Dunkin debit card (a great gift by the way), get back home and start writing on the computer, or editing my book, or checking my four email addresses. But I had noticed Janet's list for me that morning. Never a long list, just three or four items, but between my lists and hers, I always have some things to do every day.

When I worked for the State of New Jersey (39 years), I made lists for myself also. I started making them circa 1982, when I was tasked with showing the 16 mm movie "How to Get Control of Your Time and Your Life," which was based on a popular book written in 1973 by Allan Lakein, a management guru. I had to show that movie in small sessions to about 40 of our division personnel, so I became intimately familiar with its precepts. One was, you guessed it, making those lists. Two was dividing all tasks, daily mail and other items, into three categories: Priorities (do first, even if a little bit at a time), Need to Do's (must get done, but with a longer time to complete), and Trash. The goal was to look at each item only once, and do something with it at that moment - don't stick it somewhere to do later. Don't look at a piece of writing more than once. (Perhaps that's why I hate repetitive speakers so much?)

Needless to say, my work habits improved dramatically. That and being married to the most organized person I ever met, taught me tremendous organizational skills. Although I never caught up in the sense that I had nothing to do for long, I wasn't swamped. Ever. And I must say, we executed well a heavy load of projects at work. That's why when my bipolar episodes hit, they were such a shock. Stress, except for my first episode, has not usually been my main trigger. Lack of sleep, not taking my meds or self-medicating, have been. However, I have always self-medicated with at least five medium hot coffees every day. I'm so used to them now, after forty-five years, that they can hardly be called a stimulant. That and smoking have been my worse habits.

At home it was easier, what with Janet's short list of To Do's and reminders of things coming up. Our calendar became our planning guide. I even wrote my own lists once in a while, although, I must say, I never, not once, wrote a list of To Do's for Janet. Doctor's appointment? Write it on the calendar. Date and time for the monthly Baha'i Feast gathering? Mark it on the calendar, and so on. It was therefore easy from an early time in our lives together, to be on time to meetings and events, in fact, a few minutes early. I was hardly ever late to appointments; never if Janet and I were together, and I forgot none - unless I didn't write them down. Or, forgot to see the note they were written on. That's why I have appreciated Janet's reminders, even though I grouse about them occasionally

On this particular day, I had grabbed Janet's list from the kitchen counter and began crossing things off. This probably brings Janet as much joy, crossing tasks off lists, as visiting our kids now that they're grown. And today's list had only three things on it: Call my annuity company and withdraw what I could without penalty and invest it with higher returns elsewhere, Order Gift Cards from our credit card rewards program with our accumulated points, and Finish cutting back the row of fifteen foot tall lilacs ringing our back yard - no small task considering they were all 6-10 feet wide and extended 150 feet. I had already spent three days working on them.

So when I came in the kitchen yesterday afternoon after finishing the lilacs, getting the annuity information and printing a receipt for the ordered gift cards, Janet was pleased. And of course, when Janet is pleased, I am pleased. Not just pleased, but happy. Happy not just because I pleased her, but happy I got to throw that particular list away to await another on another day.

Bottom line: a list for us is a challenge to be conquered, a task to be overcome and completed. It is not a chore. It is not a drudge. It's just another small challenge in life.

How do you meet your challenges? How do you get caught up?

By Rodney Richards, NJ