Top 5 Signs of Bipoloar

If you didn't know by now, for all my new readers, I've been diagnosed BAD since 1979. Bipolar Affective Disorder, or "... manic-depressive disorder, or manic depression, is a mental illness classified by psychiatrists as a mood disorder." (Wikipedia) I'm classified as Bipolar I, having had one or more episodes for one day or more. My last, in '96, I left work without telling any other person or leaving any kind of message. During that 9 day excursion I flew to London, Rome and Israel, stayed three days, and back thru Athens, then London again to Newark airport, where I had started from.  It wasn't BAD for Me, but was for my family and friends. I mention it because I've spent the last 15 months writing about all this, and the normal periods in-between. 

The book is called Episodes and will be on Amazon in early October.

You may find it interesting, especially if you've only known my "normal" self.

Anyway, I wanted to share the Top Five Ways My Wife Might Know I'm Having an Episode:

5. On the way to full mania, We anger easily and talk back to her. This is apparent at work or home, almost or really cursing out Our co-workers or family for infinitesimal errors, or remarks, because they're doing something different that We either wanted, or would do Ourself. This is part of the perfectionism I'm feeling. Just one early sign. And I'm very agitated.

4. Life is black & white, no gray. And We know without a doubt what's right. Everything is positive and will go Our way. Not must; that's assumed. Will Definitely Go My Way. Like suggesting to Janet we take off for Disney World in the middle of the school year.

3. "Command mode" where We speak to everyone as if We know everything (and We really do). For example, when manic Me told my cousin David I'd buy his gas station for a million dollars so David and his wife Joann could retire. We knew We could do it -- make it happen. No doubts. Already accomplished; from raising the money to running the business. All planned out in My racing mind.

2.  Lack of enough sleep. For example, me doing fine, going to bed at 10 or 11, getting up just before 7. A full 8 hours. Then restless sleep. Then one hour less. Two hours, then three hours. Going to bed with Janet sleeping soundly, and at 2 a.m. We sneak out, get in Our car and drive towards the shore, flip out, and end up in jail 40 miles away. Then hospital for a month. (And I'm a lucky one -- 30% of bipolar teens and adults commit suicide.)

AQlso did you know that 60% of deaths by gun in this country are committed by those with some form of (depression or), mental illness? I heard that on NPR on the 10 am show on 9/25/13. 

And the Top reason Janet knows I'm bipolar?  Drum roll please . . .

1. Millions of thoughts, phrases really, without pronouns, without many adjectives or without any conjunctions, e.g.:

"Rome airport . . . Take train (to) city ... review Basilica ... Back ... Haifa." And so on. With thousands of thoughts between each one of 'em.

Racing thoughts, going much faster than normal. And they all make sense, but only to Me. And when I speak them they're not all coherent. And they're distracting, causing Me to jump from subject to new subject instantaneously, and, connect them, altho as if there's a relationship, but there really isn't.

And the whole time, whether on day one or nine days later like Me, I'm being guided -- without knowing it. I hear a Voice once in a while, directing Me. Yet I also had only one Voice in My head. And it was the royal We, I, Me, Our and Us. Oh, and I conversed with that other surreal Voice, the One.

So, enough about me. It's all in the book. How about you?

by Rodney Richards