How I Love Thee Mickey D's

Okay, love is pretty strong for Big Macs, but they have been my second-most liked sandwich for decades, w/out heavy dressing. The sauce isn't bad, but they slap so much on my hamburger it's inedible after 4 bites. I do love the tiny onions on it tho. And I loved their Quarter Pounders also, until Burger King Whoppers w/out mayo came along. Unfortunately, the Burger King nearest us, on Quakerbridge Road, has too few tellers/order takers, and the wait is interminable. So I don't stop by there as much anymore. (Even tho their warm Cinnabons are to die for.)

My favorite Mac's sandwich, which has only changed slightly since my youth, is the Filet-O-Fish. Yes, it's frozen then deep-fried, so the fish is soggy and has no substance, melting in my mouth. The tartar sauce, innocuous but with a little pleasing taste, has barely changed. Yes, the bun and square fish patty is probably smaller, but, I really like seafood. 

My first food preference is homemade or good pasta, al dente, with meatballs and sweet Italian sausage, fresh torps and butter -- well you get the picture if you've had good mostacolli, rigatoni, ravioli with meat sauce (homemade or from Mannino's on Rt 130).
Hey, I even love the hard yellow spaghetti with meat sauce from Pizza Hut on Rt. 33, with cheese on the bread (love that). Sometimes I just have 5 slices, say for dinner after my Lawrence Library writing class -- but that Pizza Hut, on Rt. 1, recently closed. No wonder, hardly ever any customers at dinner when I ate there. How'd it survive?

Then comes fish/seafood. After that, good Queen-cut prime rib or steaks.  Brothers is still in business (closed?) on Quakerbridge Road. Great lunch menus, with Southwestern rolls -- very tasty and cheap. Sometimes I just have a four-item appetizer plate for dinner.  Janet and I went there for prime rib and salad bar before Longhorn Steakhouse opened just a mile away from us at Hamilton Marketplace, the best outdoor shops and only a mile away. The Longthorn brown bread, warm, with whipped garlic butter is delicious as a start, and we always look forward to that, devouring it. And their butter-drowned mashed potatoes are fantastic. Love the real butter for my heart and arteries. Never will cut that out, since I grew up in the '50s without tasty margarines.

But I don't understand where I got my fish urgings from. Even Red Lobster (at least fresh), on Rt. 1 (still there), was a fav site of mine years ago, until fish was offered everywhere, like the Rock skewer shrimp at Longhorn, or the Talapia with salsa available everywhere. Never had fish much growin' up -- my single-workin' mom couldn't afford it I guess. But that changed in '62 when she married my Italian stepdad, Ralph. Excellent cook. And at Easter or Christmas we had complete 7 fish dinners. But I'm picky. Didn't develop tastes for mussels, calamari, baccala, scungili or oysters. Huh? And I'm half Italian? I mean my real family name from Grandad is Ricci, not Richards.

But I love all forms of shrimp; not crab legs in the shell, but otherwise yes, like in crabcakes. But back to Filet-O-Fish. How can I stand it? Its so overcooked and not fresh. Fresh makes all the difference in seafood, any food, between loving and tolerating. Well, I happened to notice the writing on its Mac Ds box. "Dive right in...Because it's made with light flaky white fish filet, topped with tangy (?) tartar sauce all in a lightly steamed bun."  "I'm lovin' it (TM)" and then the golden arches. 

So I think, What kinda white fish?  It's Alaskan Pollock, according to the other side of the box. It's a cod fish found in the Bering Sea. 3,000+ miles away from my Mac's in Hamilton Marketplace. So of course, its frozen. Probably been so for days. But I still like it. And when mom handed me Mac's coupons yesterday, I saw the reusable $2 coupon for it, a good deal. I think its only worth $2, but that would be its price from years and years ago. So unlikely to stay that way.

But I gotta hand it to Mac's - a small bag of fries, the same overly salted, tasty thin fries, is only $1.19 plus NJ sales tax. $1.19! And there's more fries in the bags now then when I had my first Mac's fries in the 60s. That bag cost me $.19, but that means inflation really hasn't been that bad! Well, not really. I suppose like all industries in America, from agriculture to car-making, they get subsidies and tax deductions like every other large company (not as much for small businesses -- I have two). So keepin' the fast food prices down is a real art and costs big $$$ paid to big lobbyists.And that one bag of fries averages 20% of calories, AND tons of  salt. Wow. No wonder we're thirsty for Big Gulps.

But hey! This is America, right? Gotta keep some prices artificially lower (like bread and milk), and taxes, or the population would go nuts. And I love America next to God and family.

I don't want to go nuts over these realities. I've been nuts five times but didn't know it. Just like we don't know the real cost of products, what with coupons, or even food with all their agriculture and processing subsidies.  

But Filet and Fries taste great! And the chocolate plastic milkshake.

By Rodney Richards Copyright 2014     Subscribe for free or email me at 1950ablia@gmail.com

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