Starting to Write My Memoir -- Part one

I didn’t know where to start writing my autobiography. Started is a loaded word.  Where does any writer start? I am not yet a writer, so knowing no different, I started at the beginning. Boring, I know, but being born in our nation’s Capital, to me, is a big bonus. I love Washington and the Mall, and all those magnificent public buildings. I love to visit there, the last time being three summers ago with wife Janet and friends. We went to the NEWSEUM on Pennsylvania Avenue, the newest museum at the time. What an inspiration to see a section of the Berlin Wall! My birth in Doctor's Hospital was as good a place as any to start with, followed by: jail time, true love, opium dens, a family tragedy, spiritual birth, excellent career, a long marriage, and two great kids, all interspersed with mental disorders and hospitalizations. 

I'm serious about everyone writing memoir. My favorite style is first person narration with a little tongue in cheek, chronological, with just a little reflection thrown in. Most of my reflection comes at the end of my long stories in an epilogue. I call this style of writing Summary Memoir because it spans a period of time, maybe even years.

Actually, I had retired in 2009 from 39 years with State Government, and was at loose ends. One day my wife Janet said “Rod, you’re just sitting around the house or putzin’ around. Why don’t you write your memoir and do something?” It took a few weeks to start that first blank page, but once started, I wasn’t done for a year and a half! It was so easy to just write down what I remembered! I didn’t worry if I forgot a street name, person’s name or date, for example. I just used some dashes to mark the empty space. During this process I did one very important thing: I joined the Memoir Writing Class at the Mercer County Library, in Lawrenceville New Jersey.

Listening to others read their short, poignant pieces, opened my eyes to clear, honest, compelling writing. The mantra of the class was “Show, don’t tell,” even though I’ve since learned that it’s really “Show AND Tell,” just like kindergarten. Maria Okros was a terrific facilitator, and her enthusiasm and positive energy was contagious.  We believe in gentle, but honest, critique. Simply, how can the piece be improved? No grammar corrections for us, like some memoir groups I know. All that needs to come later, when publishing – not while writing early drafts. That’s when I learned the difference between autobiography and memoir. (Note 1)

Starting a memoir is a whole lot easier than an autobiography. Memoir is more like a string of short stories rather than one long treatise. Sharing what you’ve written can be difficult, and was for me – at times. But it got easier the more I wrote, and shared aloud. Sharing is essential if you want to be a good writer. Four days ago I had a hard time getting through a piece, almost sobbing and unable to finish. 

Stephen King in his book On Writing says every writer needs an Ideal Reader – someone they trust to read the piece with an open mind, with honest feedback. Yet someone trusted enough so you won’t be offended by their opinions. That’s how I feel about our Tuesday Memoir Group.  And my Thursday Group, and my Sunday and Monday Groups. I'm hearing many wonderful, poignant and compelling stories and I love it.

On a personal level, Janet and son Jesse are my Ideal Readers. When they finished my 350-page autobiography, A Blessed Life in America, they both told me it was the most boring thing they’d ever read! I knew I had a lot of work to do, but their reviews, and those of my memoir group friends, only encouraged me. Because they all told me how many good stories I had, if I could just make them more interesting! That’s what Memoir Classes do – help writers to rewrite. Every week I facilitate a memoir class on Mondays at our public library, and go to two or three others during the week as well. It’s nice being retired! And I do want to publish an interesting book(s), despite myself.

To be continued in Part two.