The Joy of NJ Auto Inspections

If you live in New Jersey and own a car, you must have that car or van or small truck inspected. I just got back from my inspection on my 2008 Honda Civic. It was actually due by july 31st, but I hadn't noticed til yesterday, and I had time today so I went at 8:30 this morning to Baker's Basin DMV. It has an administration building to get licenses and registrations, take driving exams etc. It also has an inspection station. First of all, I knew better than to take my car in during the last five days of the month, or the first five days of the new month, so I could avoid all the last minute drivers/inspections which backed up the waiting lines horribly. Whether 1, 2, or 3 lanes are open when you do go, is critical to how much total time you need to spend there. Good time to bring a newspaper or check your cellphone messages.

Let me tell you, today's 2013 car inspections are nothing, nothing like they were fifteen years ago.

Let me explain:
In 1998 or earlier, annual inspection was required. After waiting a half hour or longer in line, I'd pull my car inside the building to the first segment, "Documents." Incorrect document? No document? Automatic failure.  I stayed in the car, engine running. First, "Window wipers please." I'd turn 'em on. Don't work or one broken? Automatic failure. Second, waist-high convex mirrors were set up at both ends of the car, "Turn on your left blinker please," then the right. "Hit your breaks please." Each time a glance in the mirrors would tell if the lights were working or not. If not? Automatic failure.

Then, "Pull up until your tires hit the depression," a concave depression in the concrete, easily found. The same inspector would push a lever, and the front end would be lifted a foot off the ground by a pneumatic lifter. The inspector would go around to each front wheel, and shake it vigorously. If there was something wrong with the front end, or linkages, he would know, and, "automatic failure." The lift would go down, and he'd say "Headlights please." He'd wheel a metal contraption that's ten feet away, into the path of the headlights. Each end of this contraption sensed whether the headlight was in alignment. If not, it failed. 

Then the hose came out, was stuck up the tailpipe, and emissions were automatically sensed and measured. Too high? Automatic failure. Then "Step out of the car please and proceed to the waiting area," which I'd do. He'd hop in the car and pump the gas peddle, revving the engine, looking for visible smoke. Is there some? Automatic failure. All the time the engine's been running.

For the next segment, another inspector would take over, get in the car, speed up down the line, and drive over raised pads in the floor, braking hard. He'd look over at the extra large computer screen and see red bars indicating the levels of each of the wheel brakes. Too low? Automatic failure. Then he'd pull the car up so the rear wheel (front wheels?) where exactly placed onto two large rotating bars, responsive to tire speed; he'd gun the engine, wheels spinning faster, then stopping. He'd look over at a computer screen for . . . some indicator. Not okay? Fail. This I believe was the infamous Parson's system, or one of them. Parson's was one of the largest contracts in NJ history, to supply equipment and technology to all the inspection stations. Lots of controversy and customer complaints.

After that, he'd pull up to the good-sized booth, where the last inspector either put a new sticker on your windshield, or handed you the paper with the failure results. Meaning, don't come back until they're repaired, within 30 days. By this time NJ law allowed regular gas stations to fix the problem and perform this re-inspectiion, and give you a passing sticker, for a fee, like 25 bucks. All well and good. Having to go thru this every year mind you. Mine and my wife's cars passed, or I took them to Bruce Robinson's gas station, our longtime trusted mechanic, and he would fix the problem and re-inspect. Problem solved.

Compare that to the inspection I just had this morning, August 14, 2013.

Documents? Check. Mirrors to check lights? Gone, not there, not checked. Check windshield wipers? No. Check front end for mechanical problems? No, gone. Use headlight contraption to check headlight alignments? No, gone. Check emissions with hose and computer? Yes, the same. Maybe they check for visible smoke then also. Speed the car down the lane and hit raised pads to check braking functions? No, gone. Drive wheels onto a different contraption with free spinning metal bars? No, gone. Stop at another computer, plug a cable into the car's electronic brain and check something? Yes, this is new. Drive car to booth and get sticker? Yes, the same. And I got a two-year sticker to boot, no more annual inspections. 

Other changes? Fewer inspectors. The documents guy checks two adjacent lanes. One other inspector per lane does all the rest, even to putting the new sticker in.

Still, the car is running the whole time. I hope the inspectors get hazard pay for breathing the noxious fumes. Other than that? They don't nearly make enough, wouldn't you say?

Does that make you feel any better about the condition of other cars on the roads in New Jersey, and how safe they really are?

Well, I don't want this to sound all bad. Of course newer cars are intrinsically safer, electronically and mechanically. New materials, new alloys, complex operating and fuel systems, indicators for tire pressure, oil life and everything else. And annual inspections probably stopped in 2000. In fact brand new cars get an automatic 3 or 5 year pass. 

But, I wanted you to know what's missing.

by Rodney Richards